How does one stay silent

  Oh Jehovah I cried myself to
sleep for midday rest. My heart aches
for my conscience telling, screaming
I should have defended my
brothers and sisters when someone
pushed negativity at them. They
were no where to defend themselves.
How was I doing right if I kept silence?

  Oh Jehovah I still am aching with
the pain for standing silent and not
showing compassions towards those
being savagely attacked.

  Was it Christ like to stay silent?
I kept the peace, loved my enemy but is
that a Christian?

   Why does it hurt so much to love
an enemy, give peace in the quake of
rumbling battle?

   Am I right to walk away and keep
allowing all said to just break over, crumble
down me? Do I stay silent to the hurtful
words spoken or would you help me voice
my concern? Oh Jehovah I know keeping
peace is very important but my conscience
tells me I need to voice myself, to defend
those innocent. Help me!

  I was so happy with the progress and now
the presence of some tear my joy down,
pulls away just to prove to me that they need
to display their indifference. How is that you
place me with strength to keep bearing with
all that is thrown?

  How can I be so strong yet full of tears when
I hear the hatred rolling over and over? How
can I keep the peace, the unity when all eats
at me inside? How can I allow such acid
from those who are supposed to know
difference?

  How do I stand so silent, hurting, observing
and listen to those teaching? How do you, O
Jehovah, keep placing me here to listen, to
stand softly wanting to cry?