Low but strong

  Words soak up my emotions. A distant
cry shakes the crumbling foundation.
Firmly, straightened I stand. Abled
to enforce who I am to all those who
choose to battle against me.

  I am Jehovah's child. No changing
that. I know who I was, how I have
changed. I see changes, do you not
see as well?

  Oh turning back long enough to say
all is forgiven, all, I hope, will be healed.
I am good, happy. I hope you are as well.
Learning of and leaning on Jehovah. I
can say once I was wrong, so severely
wrong but erased that from my record.
Thankful to Jehovah's words that
proved to me to change.

  I can say I did not think I
should have been allowed to
continue. Can say Jehovah did indeed
read my heart. Then, even now
improving self is hard and yet my
only regret is those who I hurt.
Hurting me of past was a HUGE
necessity, else I would never have
seen what was there.

  A huge sigh. There is still so
much to learn. A little nervous in
new steps but a prayer to
Jehovah all will work out. Jehovah
knows my limitations.

  Strong spiritual words opened my
eyes when I was so blind. Allowing
selfish wants to control my conscience,
my actions.

                    NOW

   No. No. Sometimes I am really
low, so deep that the sea bed is still
too shallow. Moments of being here
with few to seek I ramble. I sleep,
walk, drive to ease the hollow points.
Works even drains, drowns only so much
of those empty times.

  Oh Jehovah what is missing? What
is my spirit not grasping?

  Inhale. Exhale. Ink drives a wedge
and words drip down. Music calms, breaks
mold. Breath of cold air shocks senses
and distant questions stop echoing
inside me. No longer does the sorrow
scream inside. No longer is there
wandering, cynical laughter tearing
down the firm foundation I built.

  Once again Jehovah shoved a
spiritual intervention.

  A long exhale relaxes me. No
longer is there stress. The muscles
are puddles, marshmellows now.

  Slowly the tears well inside.
Sniffles and hiccups make a curve
caress soft rosy lips. Then a cheesy
grin eases over my mouth.

  Thankful someone listened.