Cold morning talk

Seated the cold morning air trying to get the tears to stop rolling. Is it fair who knows.

The stinging of the wind upon my face says all will be fine. As much as I am looking away u must falk into the coldness.

Chills are forming but I am not allowing the settling. Soon the sun will rise and a bit of light will warm the sky.

My mind reels and reels. Yet I shut it down.  Realizing past is past. Covered over by a blanket of snow.

Awakened in spring with new birth. Indeed how I must look at everything.

My many layers confuse so many people. My steps have to be forward facing in order to get by.

So now here I sit on my balcony just shivering.  Reminding myself to absorb everything. Letting go.

Hardest move you do but alas it is expected of you. Indeed.

Washing the memories from my mind. Standing anew. My dream is to take a walk once more. Looking far into the cruchy leaves and frosted morn.

I cannot say much more but this cold is what I needed. Not to feel and to carry on. Saying my goodbyes to hard work in one job, duty.

Now going to next.  No one really knows me. Not bothered by that now. Only care is that Jehovah does.

Just recalling Jeremiah 17:7, Romans 6:16, Hebrews 4:12, 2 Timothy 4:2 and Isaiah 30:21.

Sitting in the early morn reminds me within these verses to keep going. And all will be okay.  Just stay with Jehovah and be not concerned with anything else.

Just be me.

Fingers now purple and senses say go back inside and yet I can't just at this moment. Still want to feel warmth inside the cool morning breeze. Listen to the wind whistling in the heavy leaves.

Now my prayer with Jehovah is over as my tears freeze. Begging my spirit to be alive, happy and lovely.

Moving my legs into house I listen to my favorite song 152 as I need it today. Three more times I am listening and will be ready for the rest of today. 

All I can ask is to stay focused on smiles as the day progresses. And have patience with myself as I continue to grow.