New breath

         New day. New set of goals. I lay here thanking
my Father, Jehovah for waking me, giving me my
breath to start this day.

         Kind of odd to start this day with silence but it
is a necessity. Yes yesterday I was hurt, a bit traumatized
but all in all it was the truth that needed to be
straightened out.

        Oh where would I be if all had continued.
Probably lost. So yes it was the necessity to be hurt.
Today I realize just how much I wanted, how much
the devil was driving a wedge through a long standing
piece of hard work.

       I can honestly say that today will be a test.
So hard to no longer speak to some yet surprisingly I
have done it before, just have to gain the same
mindset as before.

      Interesting how that must go. To plan to avoid.
Also to jump to want to talk about things on spiritual
levels. Ah I must talk to only my Father, Jehovah.

       Indeed practice does prove to make better.
Never perfect in this system of things but always
striving to stay in the goodness of Jehovah.

         So yes today is a new day. A brand new
breath to exhale. A moment to experience inside
a healing. Indeed the steps may be painful or odd
but the thoughts of progress must be adjusted.

         Yes yesterday I wanted to scream inside.
The reality of the moment is that the braveness of
standing for what is right, oftentimes it can hurt
but I am ever grateful for what was done.

         Still a bit sad that the conversations of life
have to cease. The pleasantries have to be placed.
The coolness of a hello have to be given. Necessity.

         Still. Yet. A bit sore of the reminders that
friends really cannot be both family and be friends.
I thank Jehovah for the reminder. It is best that
that all remains separate.

        Now you are probably saying that is untrue.
Just toil over it for a moment. Say in some instances,
yes the truth is clear.

       So here I converse with my Father, Jehovah over
setting new goals, new dreams. Still a few I have locked
away just as Jehovah has asked because the timing
is not right.

      Pfft. How I tried to rush things. Interesting that
Jehovah was trying to explain to me of the right timing.
Why I listened to myself, is unclear. Ah a weakness,
in thinking that the time, this moment was right.

     Standing back and viewing the events. Clarity
that my actions were incorrectly pressed. I jumped
to the conclusion.

      Interestingly I knew the confusion, the hurt
and the strength of the truth would hit me like a
brick wall. Still I attempted, not even really speaking
to my Father,Jehovah about the choices.

     Somehow, even now, I just want to gather the
strength, suck it up and converse in saying: I am proud
of your bravery. Still though whether the one I am
directing it to heard, that is between Jehovah and I.

    A small hope. A small smile.

    Indeed a new day. I am slowly being restored in
Jehovah's love. How I tried to blame only myself, causing
a hatred for me. Such a war of the conscience and the
heart. Still the mind wins because the Truth reasons
to save.

   So one more step. One more goal accomplished by
finalizing the forgiveness. Surprisingly I was the one
who needed to forgive myself. Now I have done it
the knot in my throat is easing.

   Holding onto a moment of silliness as I just want the
daylight here. To finally try to finish a bit of a project.
Enjoying as the morning blues give me grandness of
beauty.

  One day, yes, a renewed sense of urgency will arise.
Maybe a voice will be heard, seem familiar. Family
will increase as life flickers down the road.

    Good morning dear friend. I pray that your
day begins with the freshness of joy.

    So here the beginning is. Strengthened. Brighter.
Demanding. Expanding.

      A small bit of laughter after a long hibernation.
Indeed friendships are woven in the finest of silks,
cottons and wool. They are strengthened and loved
by many details. So here is one more detail that adds
to the tapestry: truthfulness.

   Indeed a few tears fall in the progress but all
so dearly welcomed afterwards. I breath into the
darkened sky. Nodding to agree that every day a new
strand is knotted into our friendship. One layer
after the other. One ring at a time.

   Yes. I know what was done, was right and safe.
Yet life is full of uncertainties. One day chance will
be given and will a plan be excuted? I know not because
I do not hold the key to any one person's future. Not
even mine.

  So here is to you friend, to me, new steps. Square one
retraced.