Hard day, still standing though

             Sometimes the loads and loads of weights just
press too hard. Still there I am standing with Jehovah's
help. The words, the experiences. No I don't look back in
hate nor in sorrow just in awe.

            Oh how today has been more reflections. The
changes of where I am today, who I am. Just some
profound steps, leaps that break away the old crust
and define the brightness.

             Just as simply put the radiance of loving
sunshine I bask in the light. Holding, hoping the layers
of loss just fall through the cracks. Oh how I
pray the tears don't cause too much pain but nevertheless
I will be strengthened by my brothers and sisters.

           Still there is the question of dishonoring. Am
I really doing that to any one person? Am I doing bad
in Jehovah's eyes for not going back home? Oh how I
have prayed, how I have wept, how I have hoped. Only
now lays the the answers to unfold.

         Clarity of friends, of siblings who attempt to
make me smile, make me see that relying upon my
Father, Jehovah is all that is necessary. Still I knew that
from the beginning. Alas it does not halt the pain,
the anger, the sadness that I may be disappointing
someone. I still have that regret of not remaining
in touch, yet I TRIED to include them all in my life.

       Jehovah sees my attempts. To me that is all that
matters. One step at a time the past in my life remains
there. The joy in happy memories I hold on occasion.

       Each news I gain from old wounds I embrace with
Jehovah's help. Maintaining the relationship with my
Father, Jehovah. Continuing to fall back into his loving
care when the assualts come raging upon me, I will
endure just as I always have. Only now there are
millions of brothers and sisters to help me too. The
words that can be shown through the Scriptures how,
when I need them.

        To me, that is good enough. Yes there are days
even right down to the seconds that make me just
want to scream still I am here.

        So my dear friend, I say thank you. Even more
so to have you added as one of my siblings. To encourage,
to uplift, to listen and to increase the laughter. I pray
that one day I can return the gifts.

       So indeed today is a bit of melancholy but I am here
still, standing with Jehovah's people because I know
one day all those empty pieces of me will be wiped
away.

       So yes dear friend, I invite you to smile at me,
say a quirky line or even give a funny face just to
bring laughter to slate blue eyes. Do you think you
could try?