Will I see a rescue

                 The tears have dried. The support is
there and yet so much cannot be emptied.

                 A small form of disappointment as
the words echo inside me. Still the layers fall open
and the emotions spread vibrantly over a raw piece
of me.

                Somehow the levels friends try to help,
just to cry in someone's company is really what I
need to do. Why do I have to be so private? The breath
that just soaks, breaks the lungs.

                 Oh how at moments I just want to stomp my
feet, run screaming but what justice does that bring?
What point does it really make?

                 So here I stand, being the pillar for the
family. Distances I am claiming to be. Feeling the weight
press me but I stay silent. The eyes pour down the
heavy brown lashes as the face darkens to a bright
reddish hue.

                Oh how I want to be open but to who? Who will
see, who will just listen as the tears fall in a puddle?
Saying no words, just holding me, pulling me to the
release of allowance? Who?

              Alas I still stay quiet until I am inside a room
of silence, wandering into a stall and setting free my
tears.

             Then the world won't see but will you be
watching? Will you be the one brush of kindness that
will uplift these stormy blues? Will you understand my
levels of courage, too brave to admit I am really breaking
as people ask? How about as I mechanically answer "fine"?

           Smiling my generous, thank yous of support ~ will
you know the facade is clearly being displayed,
read, and is ripping me at the seams?

                            Will you?

          Again I prepare for another day of explaining
to others, oh closeness was empty. That the memories are
fond in bits. Oh will you be prepared to lift when no one
is listening, watching? Will the support I need be
pleaing in your direction, will the answers be given?

           Will the help be given when I give the look? Will
you understand the exhaustion I am imploring? Oh I
can only pray that someone will be given the cues to
come rescue me.

                     Will it be you?