Rested cracks

             Plenty of rest for days to unfold. Pull
down the wall as I just allow so many words to unveil
throughout a kind conversation.

             One by one the emotion explodes upon my
spirit. So hard I strive to keep clear of the pain. I so
just want people to understand the wreck that is
tossing me side to side. Yet, still, my behaviour expresses
I am so solid.

            Oh if they only knew I am liquid inside. A burning,
boiling pot of emotions. Melting, scorching myself because
all these years of proving that I am well contained.

           All I want to do is let go. Still I don't because I am
unclear on who will try to use it to damage me further.
Can I take a chance to allow a few inside? How about
just one? Oh the steps to open up in front of one is even
so sharp. I try. All I can do is try, pray and hope the
hardness I have created can once show a crack of
weakness.

        Such a moment to fall open. To express the emotions
I am screaming in silence, inside of a walled room.
Still so much brightness bears upon me, I just need to allow
the help.

      Still here in the darkening evening light I am in
solitude. I did not want grow inside these solo moments.
I did not want to hear the sweetened laughter echoing
down through the tears dripping from slate over
freckled paleness.

       Oh the need to talk to someone beckons for the
prayer to open. To fall from my mind. Pouring out into
the thickness of this warm air.

       Oh how the words vibrate inside my spirit as the
numbness begins and the sighs are released.

        Still the quake of wondering if any one person is
listening. Certainly Jehovah will see to that concern.

        Before I know it the answers will be pouring into
my path and that one will find the right voice to help
me just let go, let my tears fall in the open.

       Not discriminating if I look like a sorry, emotional
mess. Then will bring a world of silliness to bring the
smiles back to my slate blue eyes. Oh I look forward
to that moment. Oh Jehovah I sigh in hopes, in dreams
this one who understands, finds a way.

        Here. I nod in holding onto this promise given.
Thank you my Father, Jehovah. Oh thank you.

         I sigh. Wiping up the tears. Hoping. Waiting.