Leap of stupidity

        Oh how I wanted to hope. I wanted to leap with great
joy but the motion sickness of uncertainty killed my
daring spirit for a while.

       Scooting over into a small ball I lay here crying. Hoping
that the views were more majestic once my spirit was
more alert. Still the mind curled tighter. Scared that
a form of progress was dismissed to the air.

       Shh. Now, now family would pat my back. The comfort
in knowing, doubting new found members is common. The
shaking of an uncomfortable stomach would just reign
the soul.

      Never would I have guessed that a spark of negativity
blended with all that was radiant. How did I let it in?
How?

     Ah the tricks that have been introduced. The pullings
of Satan. Interesting how the expressions entertained
inside my mind. The wondering, the open of empty, sore
spots.

    Indeed I doubted. How? I let down my shield. I was
not completely alert. I let all that was drained, to pour,
soak all back in. So much that can harm in one dousing.

     Still I question, I have doubt but I cannot allow myself
to be weighed by it. No I cannot be forgiving if I am a
hypocrite to even myself. So my dear friend if you can
find a moment to laugh at the complex workings of my
mind I would appreciate it greatly.

     The lightness to the bulky is ever crystal in the ringing.
So indulge me this tiny request and just laugh at the levels
of stupidity I have placed concretely upon my soul. Would you
care to entertain that idea for a few seconds?

     A sigh is released as the time rises to the dusky skies.
The changes in the moody sky is reflecting me. Ah would
there be forgiveness there for me to hold or would I be
reaching for something that isn't mine?

      Oh how I want so badly an answer but silence is
probably the safest textured route to take. So here I
enter the moment with red speckled, sapphire blue taunts
and a cheesy half grin. Take what you want but give
in return. Yes even a scowl is better than ignoring.