Did I allow myself the same

         I see how some accept the forgiveness of others
and even from Jehovah but cannot just seem to forgive
themselves.

        Is that not a slap to Jehovah's face?

         Oh how it took months for me to all this news to soak
into my mind and deep into my spirit.

         Yes, the struggles of emotional war can eat at
you. I can attest to this. I allowed the depth to swallow
me. I secluded and isolated myself, through my actions
and words, and just created a bleak outlook.

         Still one day I just felt the layers of guilt and
hurt pressing me hard. So much was causing my soul
to slowly deteriorate and my spirit to fade. Dropping
into a state of movements, contained smiles where
nothing really was absorbed.

       I got down to the last of my willpower, I was even
ready to die. Then a spontaneous prayer just spilled
into my mind.

       Reaching. Grasping for the pure opportunity
of loving help.

       Ah yes, these moments I look back over. I note the
changes. None of it was a rapid, overnight, 30 seconds
instant progress but just the admittance of my
weakened state.

        Oh how Jehovah lifted. He gave me insight as to how
to become happy. Jehovah showed me why, I too, should
forgive myself, why his forgiveness was and always will
be all that truly matters.

       Still increasing my knowledge of the Truth, there were
Scriptures that just seemed to hit the right weight,
leveling the despair with equalizing words of
encouragement.

        Now that I am, offically, one of Jehovah's children
I am grateful to say that day, the one that began the
journey I am grateful Jehovah heard my prayer.

         So much progress of changes. So many bountiful
praises I hold, I whisper, I sing to my Father, Jehovah.
Oh just the sighs bring a form of rejoicing.

          Now, recently a Kingdom Ministry reading
addressed forgiveness. Even more so was the soundings
of my moment echoing when I read 2 Corinthians 2:6-8
(NWT). The expression for us to not only love, but to
confirm our love for each other was truly amazing. So
to go on describing inside these Scriptures is that
sometimes sadness can draw on a person being
forgiven and to help is to show the love.

        Oh to me, hearing and reading about this news
was so encouraging. I now understand why Jehovah gave
thought to me, allowing these words to absorb, lift.
So inspiring when I realized, without looking too far
back, I gave forgiveness instantly, without hesitation
To one person. Still though it was not me forgiving me.

         How, now the notes I have expressed and
experience I have been given, have shown the insight
Jehovah was giving. All inside the Scriptures. A place
I once called words upon a page.

         Indeed I always am proving myself to Jehovah.
I kindly remind myself that we all bear imperfections,
including me.

         Alas the one step of weakness spurred a lifetime
of rewards. One kind act of love opened the doors to
the Truth.

        Oh the softest of petals expand in the warmth of
sunshine just as I have inside Jehovah's care.

         So yes, my dear friend it took me a long time
to forgive myself of harm I did to those around me.
Yet instantly I knew in my conscience that giving
forgiveness to others would not only help them shine,
grow but also help me.

        So lastly I give hope inside my prayers, today, that
answers you seek, crave and the emotionally weak moments
you are experiencing Jehovah will find the right
Scriptures to give you a boost. Pulling, drawing you
closer into his loving arms.

         To me, that is all I can do for you until you feel
a moment to express, in speech, to me. Until then I will
continue to ask that help, guidance and love from
Jehovah encourages you in your steps.

        I can only hope, somewhere in time, one day the
voice will be heard and I will be listening. Still, then
a rejoiceful prayer of thanksgiving to Jehovah will be said
for hearing, listening to the concern of one daughter of a
sibling.