I too am imperfect

       Funny how the emotions still pour and I still stand
back in a tearful stage. Clarity is here. Spiritual food
is before me but curling inside a tight ball and crying
seems much more appealing.

      Shh don't whisper a prayer for me because I am just
building the strength. Presence is necessary but alas I
cannot gain everything I want, much less hope for in
one jump.

      I speak oddly. I smile warmly. I am radiant but
screaming inside. Oh my brother, oh my Father I beg
of a moment to press me higher. Just for that moment
until I can move.

    Please, oh please, a word or two. Still once more just
a prayer I place here. All in hopes of a beaming. Alas
I pressed too hard and squeezed too much.

    Shrugging I cannot say it was all for nothing. Still
perhaps once I did get what was due.

     Holding back isn't wrong. Holding it in is the worst.
Still look where I go from here. Where? Straight to what
I know. Oh dear friend I hope the weave isn't breaking,
the bridge isn't molding.

   Oh all I can do is pray I did nothing wrong where my
"gut" says I did too much. How will I know? How can I
heal?

     Does it even matter? The steps I took? Where? When
did I fall, trip over my own feet? Shh the eyes quake the
tears to fall and the nose to drip. Do I care, no. Rather
be staying put in current status but I mut move. I must
give others no chance to question my mood.

   Why would matter in instances? Helping the pressure
to cease as the laughter falls into a crackling voice. Hear
me dear friend, sibling - I am sorry for the grating on
the nerves.

   Whenever, wherever I am righteous again you know
where to find me. Searching for the answers inside the
prayers. So hold me tight and love me for I, too, am
imperfect.