Human without a heart?

  Searching for words how
to describe how I feel. How
to contain all what needs to
remain silent. Silence is
good at moments. Like in movies.

  Hmm good notes I jot down to
memorize. To carefully play out random
acts. My mind. My soul. My heart.
I try to close all away. To only let
you see the same as you give. I have
tried to keep my vow, to keep hidden
my emotions that you seek to know. A
lie, I tell myself to be cold in this aspect.

   A laugh lightens the air. Bringing
me back to collected, emotionless Mary.
How I say in my mind, you must be
strong, in eyes show depths without
having to say. Can I be heard
without humiliation? Can I really be
human without a heart?