Plant, water and cultivate

Complex life situations adjust who we are voluntarily or involuntarily. In the moments where contrasts in teachings can either hinder us or help us grow, which will you allow it to be? A question was asked across lines and not directly at me, what are you watering? This question invites me to send off in a tangent but not in the aspect of negativity. It gives me the need to dig deeper into the scriptures to find what is really my point of growth. 

As I look over choices I have made, some regretfully and other proudly wore my colors, I notice the lack of watering in a certain level. Seeing this, how do I adjust? Then the question that opens me up is, do I really allow water to get inside and help me connect with Jehovah? See that is in many cases I have stumbled myself. Allowing the negativity to be entertained in my life. 

In search of what my goals are, I have come across a spectrum of areas I will fall into because I am still searching. So what am I watering right now? Right now love seems to take the biggest chunk of what I am giving focus on. That is love my neighbor, love my family, love the stranger down the road and love myself. 

Yet the idea of loving myself is selfish in sorts. And yet the need is there for finding insight on how to improve who I am, change or broaden.  But again I still do not answer the question fully. What am I watering? 

Some say love, unity, generosity, integrity, modesty, truth, faithfulness, diligence and honesty. I am just trying to maintain patience, honesty and righteousness. Perhaps that is what I am watering. Yet still, to me, that isn't the answer. So my question is how are you planting? Because planting and watering coincide as complementing areas so that you can cultivate. 

So what is the plant or plants I am striving to maintain and cultivate? I am instilling love, patience, endurance, diligence and righteousness. Yet the question I ask myself is, which is the most important of all? Which one needs the most care right now? I would have to say love and righteousness. I still lack sympathy and forgiveness for those who hurt me in my youth - long gone they are. Yet there is still this bite in me that has me bitterly speaking of them. By all means I have no right to judge them, and even as they lay in the ground. Although the ideas of trauma over decades and deep seated pain I have to realize that I am not their judge. Jesus and Jehovah are. 

Still that is one of the areas I need to plant deeper with strong roots, water with spiritual guidance and discipline and then cultivate deeper still into my every thought and breath. Weeding out all the negativity from the past. 

So in these moments I must water love and righteousness. I discern that I am a work in progress. I may not be watering love and unity. I may even be selfish in my actions of planting, watering and cultivating, however, I am well aware I need to be spiritually strong to move to the next potted plant. So that is my goal. 

As times are expanding to more confusion and complexities I must remember that when I finish one strength, to never stop adjusting to a new planting. Constantly asking myself what am I needing to fix again, change to the guidance of the brothers and Jehovah. That is how I answer the question of what I am watering today.