I learn I am not scared
I learned a lot today. I was surprised, in a way, that the doctors told me that something IS wrong with me. No longer is it just in my head. I waited 30 years to hear them say it. And do I feel any different? No. Not really. Just confirming what I knew would come now.
And now I just wait to hear the next news. Either way some major changes will have to happen. I am okay with this. Right now I am just going through the motions of scenarios and am preparing for what is to come in the next few months. Most people would be dreading this process but for me I am just in silent calm.
Not scared. Not anxious. Just calm. It is something my mother and I have been talking about for a while now. And within these last few months, even more so. So I am prepared. And still there is more to wait for. Truthfully the excitement is over. Life is going forward.
Most of the weight that had been overwhelming me went to Jehovah and the rest I carried. Not because I was deserving but just because I asked in a prayer to only help me with some of the weight. And as the days have been following through, I am well aware of the good results Jehovah has been laying before me.
The tiniest of details are taken care of. That is the goodness so many people overlook. So as I sit here preparing for the day tomorrow, I glance down at my neglected journal. So much to write and so much to tell Jehovah. Shrugging I just want to say that thanksgiving to Jehovah can never be enough. I cannot say it enough.
So all I want to say to you is keep praying for me. That is my only hope right now. Uplifting and encouraging is the motivation that carries me forward, alongside of my faith in Jehovah. So I send my laughter and joy across the wind. Hopefully you hear. Good night all.
And now I just wait to hear the next news. Either way some major changes will have to happen. I am okay with this. Right now I am just going through the motions of scenarios and am preparing for what is to come in the next few months. Most people would be dreading this process but for me I am just in silent calm.
Not scared. Not anxious. Just calm. It is something my mother and I have been talking about for a while now. And within these last few months, even more so. So I am prepared. And still there is more to wait for. Truthfully the excitement is over. Life is going forward.
Most of the weight that had been overwhelming me went to Jehovah and the rest I carried. Not because I was deserving but just because I asked in a prayer to only help me with some of the weight. And as the days have been following through, I am well aware of the good results Jehovah has been laying before me.
The tiniest of details are taken care of. That is the goodness so many people overlook. So as I sit here preparing for the day tomorrow, I glance down at my neglected journal. So much to write and so much to tell Jehovah. Shrugging I just want to say that thanksgiving to Jehovah can never be enough. I cannot say it enough.
So all I want to say to you is keep praying for me. That is my only hope right now. Uplifting and encouraging is the motivation that carries me forward, alongside of my faith in Jehovah. So I send my laughter and joy across the wind. Hopefully you hear. Good night all.
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