Ache can be released to Jehovah
I have sat here in tears for so long that just letting Jehovah hear my concerns. I am so torn in this confusing world. I am striving my hardest to be the mother that my children want but there are so many parts they know nothing about. So much that has been drilled into their minds about me.
Truthfully I cannot let the sadness of what has been ongoing for a decade deter me from getting myself reacquainted with Jehovah. The sad parts about all this is that I so badly wanted to rest before my meeting but all that is crushing me inside is pouring down my face. I have this red, splotchy face over what destroys me inside and yet all I can think about is 1 Corinthians 10:12, 13. I know Jehovah will not let me be tempted beyond what I can bear.
So it is good to know that all this heartache and pain is something I can bear. That I am capable of surviving. That keeps the positive focus going forward. These situations are so messed up that I am overwhelmed with the underlying insinuations and snide remarks that continue to trickle into my children's ears.
And as I wanted so bad, to explain, I still cannot. Jehovah knows it is just best for me to do my best, keep maintaining a neutral stance. I tell you that is the hardest battle in a war and yet I will persevere. The good news is that one of my children sees past the remarks. Although I do not correct her in what is a lie, all because she still lives within a semi peaceful household. My name seems to be the poison that makes the anger fly.
So in that form I definitely understand why Jehovah has taught me so many ways to be kind, give love, pray for others and maintain a neutral standing. So many lessons I press through. Just to think that I am not going to get through things, well I know Jehovah has plans for me. So that is the hope I am holding onto. Clinging onto the tassels, waiting to be added to the table of Jehovah's once more. Time. That is what I have to give and listen, apply and focus.
So sure, right now, things with family seem dire. I also recognize that maybe one day things will change. That is what I will put in my mind. Then focus on the important matters. The relationship with Jehovah. Leaning only into him for all this confusion that surrounds me. Learn. Focus. Put forth effort and application. For I do realize that they are my choices I can agree to hone in on. And I will. One day at a time.
Now preparing for my zoom meeting. I look forward to hearing the comments, watching the videos, learning new ways to understand the scriptures and leaning into whatever Jehovah gives me as guidance, love and strength. I will enjoy the night now that the weight of family is eased. No longer lingering in my heartfelt tears.
Calm. That is prayer to Jehovah.
Truthfully I cannot let the sadness of what has been ongoing for a decade deter me from getting myself reacquainted with Jehovah. The sad parts about all this is that I so badly wanted to rest before my meeting but all that is crushing me inside is pouring down my face. I have this red, splotchy face over what destroys me inside and yet all I can think about is 1 Corinthians 10:12, 13. I know Jehovah will not let me be tempted beyond what I can bear.
So it is good to know that all this heartache and pain is something I can bear. That I am capable of surviving. That keeps the positive focus going forward. These situations are so messed up that I am overwhelmed with the underlying insinuations and snide remarks that continue to trickle into my children's ears.
And as I wanted so bad, to explain, I still cannot. Jehovah knows it is just best for me to do my best, keep maintaining a neutral stance. I tell you that is the hardest battle in a war and yet I will persevere. The good news is that one of my children sees past the remarks. Although I do not correct her in what is a lie, all because she still lives within a semi peaceful household. My name seems to be the poison that makes the anger fly.
So in that form I definitely understand why Jehovah has taught me so many ways to be kind, give love, pray for others and maintain a neutral standing. So many lessons I press through. Just to think that I am not going to get through things, well I know Jehovah has plans for me. So that is the hope I am holding onto. Clinging onto the tassels, waiting to be added to the table of Jehovah's once more. Time. That is what I have to give and listen, apply and focus.
So sure, right now, things with family seem dire. I also recognize that maybe one day things will change. That is what I will put in my mind. Then focus on the important matters. The relationship with Jehovah. Leaning only into him for all this confusion that surrounds me. Learn. Focus. Put forth effort and application. For I do realize that they are my choices I can agree to hone in on. And I will. One day at a time.
Now preparing for my zoom meeting. I look forward to hearing the comments, watching the videos, learning new ways to understand the scriptures and leaning into whatever Jehovah gives me as guidance, love and strength. I will enjoy the night now that the weight of family is eased. No longer lingering in my heartfelt tears.
Calm. That is prayer to Jehovah.
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