Irritations

It's this fun challenge that pulls me into laughter. Indeed the charge of strength that makes the grimacing fade. The night begins to show it's colors and the deepness opens to twinkling light.

Not surprised by the tackle of emotions nor that of the sullen sluggish mode. No doubt it stems from one thing, one thought. And to say it, kind of still irritates me.

So I cradle my foul disposition until the teeth grinding emotions cease. My thoughts fall to other things, joyful pieces of life. Forgetting about the tear inside my heart.  I can only say I was disappointed. Not surprised, not even really mad just despondent of how I thought things, life were going to proceed.

And even now I know all was for the best just that one piece of tidbit comes back to press on my nerve. Making me wonder what was wrong with me. Causing me to fall into this downward spiral.

Although all that has changed, I still wonder but it's never something I will ask. Nor will I ever pursue it other than speak my words here. And in reality that is exactly how I want it to be.

Sure I still come across those moments but I know today is better than yesterday. I understand that. As much as I am irritated and chastising myself I still recognize the situation at hand.

Momentary disappointment, lifetime of joy.

Perhaps not all can see life that way. Yet I have been through enough to handle this one moment of time.

A sigh is released. A hope is placed inside of despair. And a prayer holds me steady where I am weak and shaking.

Understanding I am worth more than enough. Some just can't handle me. And that is okay. I can live with that. Only one I have to please is Jehovah. For when I do that, all else will fall into place.

And how do I feel at this very second, better. For voicing myself and understanding I wasn't right for one but maybe I am for another.

Yet not today nor tomorrow will I allow that to cut me open. I will wait, patience and endure until Paradise.

First my mind needs to forget some and carry forward the good. Lessons taught and life experiences gained.

So not so annoyed by something I saw, so much any more. For some can change in a few months whereas others take years. It is something that took me years to realize. And now, yes, I understood who I am.

Not important to some but others I am all. So this is my mind sight now. Shutting down the day and incorporating an excitement for the night.

Job, here I come. Scriptures that uplifts me so many ways. Endurance.  Patience. Faith.

And that one sight, diminished because I am not involved and haven't been for almost a year.  Gracious thanks to Jehovah for the correction.

And now eyes drift close to pray for those who irritated me. Help me to continue to forgive them.

Life changes but we are the ones who change our lifestyles. Yet some still need help remembering how to change them.

For that I hope Jehovah opens eyes and helps. A grand hope of one day to know it happened.

For me, it's time for Job.