Experience of details
The lesson in the life given is not about the stories you can write nor that of the persons involved but of the the experience of details to incorporate into you life. See I had to step back so far to see the reality of such an experience. I had to just let go. Break free of all my ties and finally settle inside the weaknesses I have.
For me that is the hardest thing to do and yet what have I gained? Perspective. Change. Patience. Trust. Peace. Calm. I couldn't say that before. I was still trying to instill inside of myself this expectation of being a part of the old me. I just could not let go of that. And now? Well now I am viewing the film with a new cinematographer.
To learn the lowest points of my life, to turn to them without feeling as though they are a crutch, well, now that is an amazing feat. I thought I would continue to rely on them as to why I failed at being me. Then I realized that all I was doing was allowing a deceased winner to rule over me.
So backing away from the past in a fast reverse, I have begun to see that there are positive glimpses of that tainted ink. In truth I really didn't see the need to release any of the thoughts and feelings. I mean what good was it to be heard?
Then to find out how much more the echo is inside of me. All that was holding me back, down, is cleared. By far not empty. Just opened, aired. In this sense I have been able to look at how I want the forward steps to go.
Slowly I am moving as I am supposed to. Not weighed down by the words of others nor the oppression of their thoughts. Clarity has rung truth inside of my spirit. And as I listen to the details I put forth the effort to incorporate the necessities to carry me to the next destination.
And I have no judgement. My steps are not yours. As yours are not mine. Yet somewhere down the road, ends meet for a moment, grandness is explainable, I suppose. Perhaps.
So right this moment all the dominoes are lined up properly. Not quite ready to be knocked down but the details of the display will be amazing in the outcome. Truly that is my beginning. And yours, I hope is coming to where you hope it to be.
For me that is the hardest thing to do and yet what have I gained? Perspective. Change. Patience. Trust. Peace. Calm. I couldn't say that before. I was still trying to instill inside of myself this expectation of being a part of the old me. I just could not let go of that. And now? Well now I am viewing the film with a new cinematographer.
To learn the lowest points of my life, to turn to them without feeling as though they are a crutch, well, now that is an amazing feat. I thought I would continue to rely on them as to why I failed at being me. Then I realized that all I was doing was allowing a deceased winner to rule over me.
So backing away from the past in a fast reverse, I have begun to see that there are positive glimpses of that tainted ink. In truth I really didn't see the need to release any of the thoughts and feelings. I mean what good was it to be heard?
Then to find out how much more the echo is inside of me. All that was holding me back, down, is cleared. By far not empty. Just opened, aired. In this sense I have been able to look at how I want the forward steps to go.
Slowly I am moving as I am supposed to. Not weighed down by the words of others nor the oppression of their thoughts. Clarity has rung truth inside of my spirit. And as I listen to the details I put forth the effort to incorporate the necessities to carry me to the next destination.
And I have no judgement. My steps are not yours. As yours are not mine. Yet somewhere down the road, ends meet for a moment, grandness is explainable, I suppose. Perhaps.
So right this moment all the dominoes are lined up properly. Not quite ready to be knocked down but the details of the display will be amazing in the outcome. Truly that is my beginning. And yours, I hope is coming to where you hope it to be.
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