Always maintain positivity
Looking over these last few days, finding out that there are so many changes still to come I look forward to the differences I lay quite open for many to dive into. Yet even as I do that, I also realize some may be scared off or timid to approach. Though all I can say is : be daring, be brave. I am not vindictive.
However even as I wrote that word, I also recognize that some would disagree, greatly. Yet that was me a few years back. I have only been tolerant and patient with all that gets defiantly placed in front of me. I won't hesitate to move forward but I still have to process the entire objective. So sure it may appear that I am stubborn or stuck, I clearly am not.
So sitting here I am viewing the lists of disagreements that have been placed upon my table or laid at my door. One by one I pick over the ones I can change and learn from the others, what I need to do to make the applications of a positive move forward.
Even in those moments where I am standing still, viewing all the aspects of underlying details, I still am rummaging over the previous lessons to see if, somewhere, there is a fit of a puzzle piece. And as I do this, I am recognizing just how resilient I can be. Sturdy and silent but powerful and loud. Although the battles or challenges that I face are every minute of my time, I still acknowledge that calm is required to maintain the humanity within my spirit.
Seems as though the quiet could disturb so many. How can possibility thinking harm another? Seriously this is something I am unclear on. Even though aspects are well defined, it is the fine print that has me wondering how I could be so misunderstood. Yet am I really misunderstood or just too specific in my goals that some people could be so objective towards my optimistic outlook? That is really the question I ask daily.
Then I realize that some people JUST don't want to see the whole picture and the fine details. It is either or for them. So as I view all aspects of the situations and find solutions there always seems to be that one thing that still irritates. How, why does it matter so much to any one person? I just shrug my shoulders. Carry forward.
I almost feel great pity for such people. That life has to be always seem like a downer or some martyr moment. In those times all I can do is say a tiny prayer for love, patience and kindness. Then afterwards I just shake my head in release of anguish shoved off from their attitudes. An ah ha moment.
I have to remember that, to them, life is just one big black hole and they can't find their way out. That is a great sadness. Yet even more so is some just, actually, chose to be there. This eternal victim status. In that case all I can do is move on. Surround myself in the barriers I have. Be kind and concerning but also recognize that there is nothing I can do but send love towards them.
Though there are moments when I even question myself, if love is even going to dent their black hole. In times such as these I just have to walk away, even run, if necessary. There is not any deep reason to subject myself to their self loathing or negativity any longer than need be. So sure there will be times when I just seem aloof. It is easier to be in a far off dream or walking through scenarios in my mind than to be listening to their repeated insults.
Just no tolerance for that.
And to some, I seem cold because of my reaction to them. No I am not insensitive. It is just that I have seen their plays so well, the actions they make that turn me away. So much that I am closing off all parts of me so they cannot harm me. Even when they do start to tear at me, I still am blocked. So that makes others call me names. It saddens me, greatly, because I know these people. I don't just know them from conversations or hanging around them. I watch how they act around others and how they react to situations.
Sure one could say that I "read" too much into a person. Yet all I want to say is, rarely am I wrong. And to some that is quite astonishing, unbelievable. I only hope that somewhere down the road, someone recognizes that in me. Not for the need of companionship or friendships but that of just some relatable or similarities of truths.
So yes, as I am changing the outlook of my life, where are others? See I recognize the need to refine or even redefine my understandings of many parts of my life. Even as I do this I still have some resistance inside of me. Yes I have my moments where I am pounding my head against a brick wall just to shake the bleakness of a situation. Even in these turbulent times I still hope for the positive outcome. Even if it is not done the way I wanted it to, I still hope that the good light become overflowing.
So in the end of the journey, years down the road, I am capable of saying I have learned all that was necessary and be grateful for all the teachings. All the experiences and difficulties I infused into my life, I have overcome and listened thoroughly in how to redirect myself to the goodness of all that sits inside my spirit.
How about you?
However even as I wrote that word, I also recognize that some would disagree, greatly. Yet that was me a few years back. I have only been tolerant and patient with all that gets defiantly placed in front of me. I won't hesitate to move forward but I still have to process the entire objective. So sure it may appear that I am stubborn or stuck, I clearly am not.
So sitting here I am viewing the lists of disagreements that have been placed upon my table or laid at my door. One by one I pick over the ones I can change and learn from the others, what I need to do to make the applications of a positive move forward.
Even in those moments where I am standing still, viewing all the aspects of underlying details, I still am rummaging over the previous lessons to see if, somewhere, there is a fit of a puzzle piece. And as I do this, I am recognizing just how resilient I can be. Sturdy and silent but powerful and loud. Although the battles or challenges that I face are every minute of my time, I still acknowledge that calm is required to maintain the humanity within my spirit.
Seems as though the quiet could disturb so many. How can possibility thinking harm another? Seriously this is something I am unclear on. Even though aspects are well defined, it is the fine print that has me wondering how I could be so misunderstood. Yet am I really misunderstood or just too specific in my goals that some people could be so objective towards my optimistic outlook? That is really the question I ask daily.
Then I realize that some people JUST don't want to see the whole picture and the fine details. It is either or for them. So as I view all aspects of the situations and find solutions there always seems to be that one thing that still irritates. How, why does it matter so much to any one person? I just shrug my shoulders. Carry forward.
I almost feel great pity for such people. That life has to be always seem like a downer or some martyr moment. In those times all I can do is say a tiny prayer for love, patience and kindness. Then afterwards I just shake my head in release of anguish shoved off from their attitudes. An ah ha moment.
I have to remember that, to them, life is just one big black hole and they can't find their way out. That is a great sadness. Yet even more so is some just, actually, chose to be there. This eternal victim status. In that case all I can do is move on. Surround myself in the barriers I have. Be kind and concerning but also recognize that there is nothing I can do but send love towards them.
Though there are moments when I even question myself, if love is even going to dent their black hole. In times such as these I just have to walk away, even run, if necessary. There is not any deep reason to subject myself to their self loathing or negativity any longer than need be. So sure there will be times when I just seem aloof. It is easier to be in a far off dream or walking through scenarios in my mind than to be listening to their repeated insults.
Just no tolerance for that.
And to some, I seem cold because of my reaction to them. No I am not insensitive. It is just that I have seen their plays so well, the actions they make that turn me away. So much that I am closing off all parts of me so they cannot harm me. Even when they do start to tear at me, I still am blocked. So that makes others call me names. It saddens me, greatly, because I know these people. I don't just know them from conversations or hanging around them. I watch how they act around others and how they react to situations.
Sure one could say that I "read" too much into a person. Yet all I want to say is, rarely am I wrong. And to some that is quite astonishing, unbelievable. I only hope that somewhere down the road, someone recognizes that in me. Not for the need of companionship or friendships but that of just some relatable or similarities of truths.
So yes, as I am changing the outlook of my life, where are others? See I recognize the need to refine or even redefine my understandings of many parts of my life. Even as I do this I still have some resistance inside of me. Yes I have my moments where I am pounding my head against a brick wall just to shake the bleakness of a situation. Even in these turbulent times I still hope for the positive outcome. Even if it is not done the way I wanted it to, I still hope that the good light become overflowing.
So in the end of the journey, years down the road, I am capable of saying I have learned all that was necessary and be grateful for all the teachings. All the experiences and difficulties I infused into my life, I have overcome and listened thoroughly in how to redirect myself to the goodness of all that sits inside my spirit.
How about you?
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