A million smiles
I fell into this routine where I would check on people from my past. Even to the point of responding in some quirky way. Yet even as I look over the years I did that, I realize that I became this involved person. No longer looking at the joy of their existence. I was for the bashing and the negative thoughts I could press into my hopes.
As I sit here and think, wow. Just how broken was I? To be so involved in the outskirts of people's lives. What was the purpose of that? To say I knew them? To say I understood. No. Just plain vicious of me to incorporate myself into people's lives.
No this is not a sadness. No pity needed here. It is more that I needed to be slapped awake. This was insane actions that I needed to drift away from. And boy did I. I don't even wonder anymore. And I used to block people from looking at my pages. Good grief I was a paranoid freak.
Now. Well now I have unblocked so many people. I have no over concern if they respond to my posts. Much less will I be gaga if they drop a line in. I have moved on. Sure I still check here and there. Not to the point of being overly curious about their whereabouts. Not even as to wonder who they are friends with either.
Just to acknowledge I do sometimes run in similar circles. Even on some days I am bound to like a picture or a post that they share, why? Well because I follow so many different parts of life now. And if by opportunity their work comes across and I enjoy the various aspects, indeed I will like and move on.
That is how a day goes now. Lessons learned and carry on. Even when I get struck down in the moment I still bound up. That is the joy of it all. And people also continue to live their lives. One day we all fall back into lines.
But for now, all there is just what is here, before me. And so much creativity. Love. Kindness. Memories. Joy. And a million smiles.
As I sit here and think, wow. Just how broken was I? To be so involved in the outskirts of people's lives. What was the purpose of that? To say I knew them? To say I understood. No. Just plain vicious of me to incorporate myself into people's lives.
No this is not a sadness. No pity needed here. It is more that I needed to be slapped awake. This was insane actions that I needed to drift away from. And boy did I. I don't even wonder anymore. And I used to block people from looking at my pages. Good grief I was a paranoid freak.
Now. Well now I have unblocked so many people. I have no over concern if they respond to my posts. Much less will I be gaga if they drop a line in. I have moved on. Sure I still check here and there. Not to the point of being overly curious about their whereabouts. Not even as to wonder who they are friends with either.
Just to acknowledge I do sometimes run in similar circles. Even on some days I am bound to like a picture or a post that they share, why? Well because I follow so many different parts of life now. And if by opportunity their work comes across and I enjoy the various aspects, indeed I will like and move on.
That is how a day goes now. Lessons learned and carry on. Even when I get struck down in the moment I still bound up. That is the joy of it all. And people also continue to live their lives. One day we all fall back into lines.
But for now, all there is just what is here, before me. And so much creativity. Love. Kindness. Memories. Joy. And a million smiles.
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