Resting hurts

    Words here, there. Crawling through my mind.
Echoing down my memory as I try my hardest to leave
them behind. Pushing back I strive to let go.

    Oh I do. Just loved hardest to care for you. I am
sorry I couldn't be as you asked me to be. Oh yet there
is nothing I can do now. Just must wait until the
new system of things.

   Still it hurts that I could not be the pleasing
daughter. Yet I found a Father that loves me. Never
changes his mind. Never finds faults with my flaws.

   Oh why could you not attempt to listen to that?
How is it that I am still crying over spilled milk?

   Don't cry. Showing the weakness you used to crush.
Oh still the tears fall.

   Now silently I sit. Looking, observing the beauty of
the evening hours and wanted to call you up. Ah ha
but I must realize I cannot. Sadly the tragedy of
your passing left me open.

   Still, yet, what? Oh I cannot lay my hands on the
words to place upon you except that the forgiveness
was there. Still I cannot recall if you ever said love
existed between us.

   What does it matter now? None. Gone. Voided
out are the emotions. Standing tall right now. Just
keeping steady where I feel like falling, drowning.
The strength is there. Jehovah is lifting.

   Ah the tears keep coming and I try my best to keep
at bay the raging sniffles. Still I know all will be okay.
Jehovah gives all that I need.

    Oh how silly I am. I know you rest and still I recall
the last time I saw you. Ah Jehovah hears me.

     Placing the heart in a cage once more. Watching,
feeling the nose dribble. Ah I do so dislike these
moments.

     Holding close to my paleness. Listening to a
Martina McBride song that has pulled me back.
Hearing the lyrics I encourages me to be forward.

     Cleaning up my silly face. Redness sits well upon
a redhead, right?

      Dear friend smile. Holding one thought, a prayer
that soars over top of you. Hold it and be happy.

      For me if not yourself, please.