Crushed

     So how do you stop the crushing? How does
the person who you are now cease the being friendly?
Not feeling isolation yet you do. How do you push
passed?

      Perhaps the tired you just let's all the tears fall.
Careful of who you let see. Cannot allow anything
but words fall. Jehovah has to pick up the pieces
again.

      Trama. Shock. Joy. It is all there but so
overwhelming. Once again the trials press hard and
so unclear how the steps move forward.

      I don't dare explain. I just keep moving. I cannot
ask anyone to help. Just Jehovah. Now how?

       One tiny prayer at a time. The clatter of tears
streak nastiness across my once white face.

      I hold hope there yet you would never know if
looking. Each day the steps go forward.

      Trying my hardest not to notice all others. Just
mine. Just careful how I appear. One by one the
sounds become neutral and the heart, eyes disappear.

     Clearing the pathway to silence. Does not matter.
No one was looking. Just Jehovah and to me that
is all that can, has to matter.

      My mouth forms a sigh in the heated afternoon
sky. Still a shared moment with the birds. No one
else looking on. Just me glaring up at the sun.
Closing my eyes and thanking Jehovah for the tears.

       I cannot allow myself to drift away. Only now
it seems to be a good resolution. Still I cannot let
it be the only one.

      So cheers to the thoughts. Prayer and meditation
I must begin.