Ponder and tell me if you want
Done. Just done with writing for now. I have expressed too much and probably have gotten people wondering or even giving me the distance roll call. Mary Moment, indeed.
How do I feel?
Incomplete. Fairing well with the current sunburned stage. Looking for ways to stop crying.
Holding still.
Desperately want, need the hugs I so daringly pushed away. Yet I still unclear if I even deserve a second chance. Honestly what can I do to repair.
And still the parts of me says all things negative. So much of me pushes and pulls. The war within ourselves is like WW3 inside of me. I am always thinking. I am always re-purposing a scenario in my head. Just how I work.
A million tabs opened and each one is warring with each other. How does this EVER calm?? You even wonder if that is possible.
You. My sounding board. The ear that listens, truly. Desires to help me. Yet also knows that I desperately NEED the hugs you supply. Even if it means just crying in your arms. Yes, something I rarely do but today I would love to try.
If I could.
Still the parts of me warring say that there is no possibilities. That I have BURNED the bridge we built. All because I am Mary.
You gotta understand, if you really know me, that these strangled parts of me is just necessary to let go. I have to let them happen before I can clean up the rest of the storage of things in my head.
But my question for you is do you have the strength to stand with me while I do this, or will I be breaking you too?
Ponder and tell me if you want.
How do I feel?
Incomplete. Fairing well with the current sunburned stage. Looking for ways to stop crying.
Holding still.
Desperately want, need the hugs I so daringly pushed away. Yet I still unclear if I even deserve a second chance. Honestly what can I do to repair.
And still the parts of me says all things negative. So much of me pushes and pulls. The war within ourselves is like WW3 inside of me. I am always thinking. I am always re-purposing a scenario in my head. Just how I work.
A million tabs opened and each one is warring with each other. How does this EVER calm?? You even wonder if that is possible.
You. My sounding board. The ear that listens, truly. Desires to help me. Yet also knows that I desperately NEED the hugs you supply. Even if it means just crying in your arms. Yes, something I rarely do but today I would love to try.
If I could.
Still the parts of me warring say that there is no possibilities. That I have BURNED the bridge we built. All because I am Mary.
You gotta understand, if you really know me, that these strangled parts of me is just necessary to let go. I have to let them happen before I can clean up the rest of the storage of things in my head.
But my question for you is do you have the strength to stand with me while I do this, or will I be breaking you too?
Ponder and tell me if you want.
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