I have to be patient

When you learn about yourself and all the levels it's pretty spectacular.  Yet still even though you want to share with someone you find yourself cowering back.

Only because of the pain it may bring.  Sadness in those moments. I really want to tell you everything like I used to but the different parts I still cling quietly to I don't think you would gain any understanding of me.

So many times I wanted to stop what I was doing to tell you something but I HALT.  I don't give in to telling you because levels were closed.

Planks on the bridge were removed or scorched.  So I learned to back away from you. Even when it tears me in two I still maintain the distance necessary.

I grow but I have learned not to include you in everything. Saddens me but I have to cut loose pieces of the frays to possibly hope you see the difference.

Obviously you did. Now it's there in open. I just have to wait. Be patient for the reality to hit.

Until I can be on our bridge but I don't need you to be there too. You taught me that I will always be weird. Not ever really understood.  Coming from you, that hurt.

But I moved on. Accepted and realized several truths.  Just have to keep trekking.  Not really listening to what you say because you did same.

Well I lay here with the tears and I hope for the big picture to finally smack you in the face. Although it has not and once more I have to be patient.

Ongoing and tiresome but I am patient.