I learned and now I am growing.
I thought to express my feelings here but to know someone can actually read them is scary. I don't need someone to send a fake hug just to make me "feel" better. It irritates and teaches me to be compassion and forgiving. Sadly I forgave a long time ago. Realizing I will never be right for those who try to read.
It will keep me moving because I can't keep saying "I am sorry". It damages me. Right back to the past and I cannot let myself go there.
So yeah I am forgiving of flaws and injustices. Hurts, pains and distrust but sometimes I just have to walk away. I won't lie to myself about the situation being "alright" when actuality I am striving my hardest to remain smiling and passive.
Sometime I want to tell someone that they hurt me, deeply, but I let that go. I forgive so much because I don't like conflict but when I am torn, what do you expect of me? Congeniality?
I am not superficial. I feel. I am well aware of my imperfections. NO need to explain that I am insensitive to someone. Maybe the reason I am is BECAUSE I have forgiven so much that I am to point of leaving myself altogether. And still I strive to maintain peace. Did you even notice how far I have come HOLDING in junk from a lethal person?
No only the granted noise you heard was me complaining about how irritating the level of conversation was between people and me. SO in a way I PUSHED you away.
I own up to my mistakes for involving you in my complaining. I learned. Now I am growing.
It will keep me moving because I can't keep saying "I am sorry". It damages me. Right back to the past and I cannot let myself go there.
So yeah I am forgiving of flaws and injustices. Hurts, pains and distrust but sometimes I just have to walk away. I won't lie to myself about the situation being "alright" when actuality I am striving my hardest to remain smiling and passive.
Sometime I want to tell someone that they hurt me, deeply, but I let that go. I forgive so much because I don't like conflict but when I am torn, what do you expect of me? Congeniality?
I am not superficial. I feel. I am well aware of my imperfections. NO need to explain that I am insensitive to someone. Maybe the reason I am is BECAUSE I have forgiven so much that I am to point of leaving myself altogether. And still I strive to maintain peace. Did you even notice how far I have come HOLDING in junk from a lethal person?
No only the granted noise you heard was me complaining about how irritating the level of conversation was between people and me. SO in a way I PUSHED you away.
I own up to my mistakes for involving you in my complaining. I learned. Now I am growing.
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