How steady are you in motives

     A warning to be said. Perhaps the moment of
being too cautious. Still I hope that Jehovah holds
all clear of the rattiness of things.

    Still I find my stomach turning, churning like
sour milk for this very reason. Not the mention of
circumstances just of the knowledge seated nearby.
Just the voice of hearing "ha ha I told you so" echoing
down the vibrant nightlife.

     Oh stationary I am. Waiting, praying and hoping.
I hold clear the notion of passed events. Craziness
of fake motives causes the mind to send red
fire engine lights blaring inside. Oh I only hope
that this evening concludes and the eyes settle
for knowing I have no control of outcome.

    Ah the sigh that escapes me runs chills upon my
tightened muscles. Oh how the need to exit this
mode. Shh the soul says as the silence becomes
soothing.

   One by one the lashes drift. Holding long enough
to realize that I am falling asleep. Hmm.

   Distance I am held by all. Carried by only one:
Jehovah. This means more to me than any one
human friend. No offense intended but Jehovah
holds me closer than anyone can. This is why all
that I am holding at bay can erase.

   Hmm. So dear friend you can only begin to
understand why I press harder to be a sister.
Against all odds I am still standing nearby. Knowing
only one holds me steady.

   How about you?