So few know
I have told so few and only the ones who can handle the stress. Little by little my weaknesses come out.
Yes I am scared of what the end may look like but no I am not afraid of death. That is a part of me that never changes. I am never angry at God. There is no reason to ever be.
All my life has been lessons to learn, teachings to give and help to outweigh. That is always what I have been here for. No prize to be won. No hand to hold close.
No. Just me.
I know my place. Granted I am confused at times but I never forget where I came from and how far I have gone.
I don't feel privileged but sometimes recognition is nice. Though I don't even bother asking for that either.
Humility I have in so many ways I cannot describe. Yet so many people seem to think I have none.
No. I project whatever is around me. Sadly it is really those around me who are in need.
Though now that I have spoken of it, I reek of ego. And I don't have that either. For that is a character behind a wall I know oh so well.
Yet the traits of me, so odd to many. I am different. I always knew that. Never quite fitting in with anyone, yet not sad about it either. Perception of life is different.
And then there is so many secret, mysterious layers of me. I often disrupt people because I am so private.
I am content. 90 percent of the time I am fine with being on my own. 10 percent I would enjoy that of company and can stand up to fifty percent. Yet I know I need time to myself to be a form of normal.
I know I will be by myself but not lonely. And with all that is going on with me, I can bear it. I endure as I should.
Time will tell what is to happen. So every day I live as though my last one. Even though it may be mundane to others I lived it the way I wanted with the means I had.
My only hope is one day I cross back over to say yes I am God's complete child once more.
A hope. But for right now sleep for the wary soul.
Yes I am scared of what the end may look like but no I am not afraid of death. That is a part of me that never changes. I am never angry at God. There is no reason to ever be.
All my life has been lessons to learn, teachings to give and help to outweigh. That is always what I have been here for. No prize to be won. No hand to hold close.
No. Just me.
I know my place. Granted I am confused at times but I never forget where I came from and how far I have gone.
I don't feel privileged but sometimes recognition is nice. Though I don't even bother asking for that either.
Humility I have in so many ways I cannot describe. Yet so many people seem to think I have none.
No. I project whatever is around me. Sadly it is really those around me who are in need.
Though now that I have spoken of it, I reek of ego. And I don't have that either. For that is a character behind a wall I know oh so well.
Yet the traits of me, so odd to many. I am different. I always knew that. Never quite fitting in with anyone, yet not sad about it either. Perception of life is different.
And then there is so many secret, mysterious layers of me. I often disrupt people because I am so private.
I am content. 90 percent of the time I am fine with being on my own. 10 percent I would enjoy that of company and can stand up to fifty percent. Yet I know I need time to myself to be a form of normal.
I know I will be by myself but not lonely. And with all that is going on with me, I can bear it. I endure as I should.
Time will tell what is to happen. So every day I live as though my last one. Even though it may be mundane to others I lived it the way I wanted with the means I had.
My only hope is one day I cross back over to say yes I am God's complete child once more.
A hope. But for right now sleep for the wary soul.
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