Everyday a lesson

Token, coins clatter down the harden
earth. Watch many grab as I just stare.
Did you expect me to keep grabbing, hoping?

Wanted so badly to prove myself.
That I was worth something to you. I was
dreaming an unfortunate black and
white film.

Lost. Could not bear letting go even when
I should have. Ah. I learned. Every day
I still wonder.

Life tricks us. I listened. Blindfolded
myself so I could have a glimpse of
a peaceful feeling.

No disrupted by views, memories
that caress my mind. Images that
hold me in a trance. I want to show
every one my sickness is cleansed yet
my heart won't let go.

Why? I feel, I know what is
right. What is waiting for me. Why
can I get through my veins and thick
blood, that you will NEVER be mine?