Depth of me
I have this great depth within me. For as long as I can remember the understanding of things was just "understood". How else do I say it?
Those who I grew up with said I was old in sense but young in heart. To this day I don't get the heart stuff but everything else rings true.
Never really felt like I needed more than me to be happy. Even when my life was so stormy I still was able to work it out on my own.
But what really leans into a grander space is just how much contentment could be had for me. I love people because I love to learn. I love reading and expanding my mind with knowledge but I also so enjoy being with the storytellers of old. To sit for hours listening to them talk.
And when I tire just lay my head down and sleep. For another good thing about me, I can sleep almost anywhere (probably not in a cobras nest nor a bear den but not many can).
Yet with a these times where I just knew or had a deeper, wider view of the situation and was okay with where it went. That is weird. Then finding out just how complex I am on top of the deep knowledge or comprehension of things.
Certainly I must be a rare one or just a crack. Who knows?
I have kept to myself in most instances in my life. Yes, though, I married and had 2 beautiful children I still am okay with being solitary.
Though having that one friend who dares to dig through all my loose papers and layers upon layers of new information given to them, truly remarkable. I don't think there really is such a person who is existing in this world today, that would try to open me up.
For I know I intimidate many. Confuse and irritate many. Sadly I must protect myself from opening too wide. For if I read you well enough, most only go skin deep in their search of me. Never really getting passed anything. Or being patient enough to wait for me to let them have a part of me.
That must be quite bothersome. Yet I won't say I am sorry. For that would be me apologizing for being myself. How is that right or honest?
So I just keep to myself. I don't even try to entice or flirt. It just isn't worth my time. Much less do anything in any direction pertaining to finding more people because most just give up anyways.
So why bother letting down my guard only to be burnt or worse?
No point in it.
If you want to search for me, ask questions. Dig. Research. Be patient and intrigued at the same time. But don't you dare try to make me be sorry for being who I am.
For I know that isn't a comfortable situation for anyone.
Those who I grew up with said I was old in sense but young in heart. To this day I don't get the heart stuff but everything else rings true.
Never really felt like I needed more than me to be happy. Even when my life was so stormy I still was able to work it out on my own.
But what really leans into a grander space is just how much contentment could be had for me. I love people because I love to learn. I love reading and expanding my mind with knowledge but I also so enjoy being with the storytellers of old. To sit for hours listening to them talk.
And when I tire just lay my head down and sleep. For another good thing about me, I can sleep almost anywhere (probably not in a cobras nest nor a bear den but not many can).
Yet with a these times where I just knew or had a deeper, wider view of the situation and was okay with where it went. That is weird. Then finding out just how complex I am on top of the deep knowledge or comprehension of things.
Certainly I must be a rare one or just a crack. Who knows?
I have kept to myself in most instances in my life. Yes, though, I married and had 2 beautiful children I still am okay with being solitary.
Though having that one friend who dares to dig through all my loose papers and layers upon layers of new information given to them, truly remarkable. I don't think there really is such a person who is existing in this world today, that would try to open me up.
For I know I intimidate many. Confuse and irritate many. Sadly I must protect myself from opening too wide. For if I read you well enough, most only go skin deep in their search of me. Never really getting passed anything. Or being patient enough to wait for me to let them have a part of me.
That must be quite bothersome. Yet I won't say I am sorry. For that would be me apologizing for being myself. How is that right or honest?
So I just keep to myself. I don't even try to entice or flirt. It just isn't worth my time. Much less do anything in any direction pertaining to finding more people because most just give up anyways.
So why bother letting down my guard only to be burnt or worse?
No point in it.
If you want to search for me, ask questions. Dig. Research. Be patient and intrigued at the same time. But don't you dare try to make me be sorry for being who I am.
For I know that isn't a comfortable situation for anyone.
Comments
Post a Comment