Sleepless tonight

Seated in the darkness of my room I hold down the hopes of tomorrow. I have yet to close slated gray. The dreams I want to have may or may not arrive.
Still I hope. So many goals and yet so scared to step forward. A tiny glimpse of the moments of yesterday. The day I can't seem to let go of.
Just a few warnings that I am not ready for the new day to begin. Prolonging the wake up call in the blue lighted morning.
So obvious that overthinking clearly has ruled my mind.
Such a disaster waiting to push through. Yes my mind laughs and gives way to supreme anxieties. Alas the heart actually says shut up.
I allow echoes of dreams to sit, waiting upon the tendrils of my brain. A soft caress and I am gone. Sleeping,  dreaming.
And. Yet I am still awake. So many times the darkest room still has the streams of light glaring into space. Still tells me it's okay to be awake.
Then the mind drills on placing a scene of negativity inside of me. Causing me to become down and question motives of others. The creates such chaos that I doubt myself and my friends.

Such a tragedy.

I must place these words here. Else they ruin all process I have built. So please don't see this as anything bad. Just a voice that needs air to be heard.
Lines that find homes in space. A bit of kindness when all thoughts cease. A peace that I look forward to and can settle into.
Holding onto that hope. Leaving the discouraging ideas, theories in the wind, just as they should be. Clearly all fades as the eyes adjust to the darkened walls. Finding that last tangible idea of soft pillows and warm covers.
The settling of quiet. The ease of forgetting and the soothing grind of heat pushing through grates. Eventually all becomes mundane and the stiffness inside the soul falls loose.
The spirit absorbs the happiness in memories and clings to making more joy in the waking hours.
Truly insomnia trickled by too much thinking, too many open ended wonders. Indeed the letting go seems appropriate once the warmth catches up. Absorbing my soul deep. Begging my slated grays to find closure.
Yes there, here under a green coverlet I dream wildly. Even wide awake.
A hope for just a few tender hours of sleep.
A dream for solid snoring. Ah yes just the roaring of stuffiness and whimpers. Indeed I hope all comes well.

A dream in a dream. Of what other than peace, joy and love from..
You.