Overthinking, meh
As we sit over the day and ponder over the lasting thoughts of the yesterday waves, the mind cools and pretends almost to be numb. How so does that help in the early morning light as the once more nightmare screams at me? How does it help me to see that there are so many things I must work on to be good, to be a solid friend?
Indeed the screams of that nightmare helps me to see that I too can never be right for friends. That the fear or hesitation can make me wonder in choice. This has to be corrected. Whether it is inside of me or exterior to the mind. Still I have to create the distance of what is reality and dream.
A long process but soon the today will show me I am worth the work, worth the changes. That is though some may agree. I daresay to dream of yes in all aspects but I am certain their is a slow burn on an old bridge.
One hopes that I am wrong. One hopes that the overthinking mind is shut down for the evening hours to enjoy.
Indeed I close my eyes long enough to have a ragged inhale. Still stuffed up but happy to be alive. Looking outside my filtered window I view the sun setting against the brick buildings alongside of me. Stunning to see the glimmer of sand inside the brick.
Silly to notice details like that but sometimes that helps me to put the perspective of where I stand in the world. It allows me to remain humble, grateful of all those people Jehovah gives me to keep moving forward. Indeed I am grateful. Even though today has been a reflection of the negatives of the night I am still learning from them.
So if you still care to be friends with me, stamp out the burning bridge and tell me I am an overthinking brat. I will accept I overstepped in places and move forward.
That is if you even read this. *shrugs* oh well.
Indeed the screams of that nightmare helps me to see that I too can never be right for friends. That the fear or hesitation can make me wonder in choice. This has to be corrected. Whether it is inside of me or exterior to the mind. Still I have to create the distance of what is reality and dream.
A long process but soon the today will show me I am worth the work, worth the changes. That is though some may agree. I daresay to dream of yes in all aspects but I am certain their is a slow burn on an old bridge.
One hopes that I am wrong. One hopes that the overthinking mind is shut down for the evening hours to enjoy.
Indeed I close my eyes long enough to have a ragged inhale. Still stuffed up but happy to be alive. Looking outside my filtered window I view the sun setting against the brick buildings alongside of me. Stunning to see the glimmer of sand inside the brick.
Silly to notice details like that but sometimes that helps me to put the perspective of where I stand in the world. It allows me to remain humble, grateful of all those people Jehovah gives me to keep moving forward. Indeed I am grateful. Even though today has been a reflection of the negatives of the night I am still learning from them.
So if you still care to be friends with me, stamp out the burning bridge and tell me I am an overthinking brat. I will accept I overstepped in places and move forward.
That is if you even read this. *shrugs* oh well.
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