What I expect of you

I don't expect much from you.  Just
a bit of chatter or laughter.  Sometimes
even the opportunity of a genuine
hug.

Perhaps that is too much. Still I may
even be classified as selfish because
I expect those things from you.

Perhaps even I am a major crazy
brat for wanting those things the most.
Sure the little life gifts and quirky
smiles are grand but company and
an ear or a wacky conversation is
most delightful.

Perhaps I am a wild rollercoaster and
I do steer for danger but I would
hope you would want to join in on
the ride.

Yes eccentric and weird I am.
Emotional and naive I am too.
Just as I am stubborn and
annoying. Still you do like me.
Well maybe a small tinge.

Correct the assumptions please.
But I love you sometimes more than
myself. Even I can't deal with "Mary".
So for certain you won't be able to
either.

I am sorry I hurt you. I didn't want
to tell you. I just wanted it to fade
away.

Like your father, my father was not the
image presented to others. Some so
blind and still are well after he is gone.

I don't want to compare but life
can only be as strong as the will is.
So yes some statements trigger me
back into a curled stated of mind.

Hoping to forget the pain, the darkness
that I hid in. Yes most days I skip over
the words but today rolling under from
yesterday just couldn't lock it all
away.

What hurts me more is that I couldn't
forgive the words just yet. Hence
making me abrupt with you. For that
I wallowed in pity alongside the
memories of a scared little girl.

Tears even now fall because I feel I
let you down. Funny perhaps I care
more of how, why I may have given
you reason to step away from me.

Sadly I won't know until the morning.
Making my heart race faster and
sleep disturbing. Alas it has to be
just so.

Sorry. 😳