A long time to wait

No one really says they miss or love
me but it is just as well. I am
genuine in my directed approaches
but I must decline today.

The worst of the words choke. Even they
shout in the most vibrating ways.
Apparently my emotions are too loud.
My actions not enough. My gratitude
and respect flicks me to dirt.

I hold up too many people. I
endure much. Still the mouth
just smiles.

Positive views is inside these tedious
moments. Not hidden just listening.
Awaiting the time to be voiced.

Yet some times I just get tired of
helping and helping. I am happy
but still clutching. Indeed the grains
of irony descend and the weights
press hard.

Yet no, I don't break. I crack but I know
I can still be mended with time, with
strength. Indeed.

I never can seem to just give up.
Not in my makeup. Keep going. Keep
pushing. Until the last breath is here.

Perhaps the way the wind is in a storm.
Constantly going until rest.

Maybe that is when I will be loved  and
be missed.  A long time to wait.