Midnight

Dancing stars. Rolling tears. All in
grand display of loving. Such a
wondrous tragedy and unfailing
weakness.

Though such a mess I shall not erase
what is felt. I may never be able to
act on it but the words are here.

The eyes shaded turn from slate
to violet in hope of the midnight
calling. Still the evening proved,
is pure vanity and insanity.

Clearly I stand waving away the
giant tears and the dispair that
shakes my very core. Yes I hold it all
in. A silent longing I cling to - the
hope.

Perhaps I am wrong but the irony that
sings shatters my very spirit. Yes I
was wrong to love. Yes I was wrong
to care but I won't stop .

Take it or leave it.

The mind laughs at the heart,  the
strung emotions because it is hard.
The foundation of how I keep moving.

Dare I listen to anything but the wind
right now. Just feeling the layers of
grime slip away. Just as the exhale is
released. Indeed what I feel is true.

Still I stand back. Still I watch.
Still I inhale. Still the tears crease
over freckled cheeks. Still. Yes still
I am going forward.

Dare you inquire on my level of love.
Dare you press the weight of genuine
concern. Oh I dare you to care. I
dare you to feel.

Alas I cannot imagine you can.

Stone. Yes concrete. Slate. Granite.
Daring your emeralds to look inside.
Ah ha a tender sight to see an
extension of emotion. Do you really
have emotions or is that just a hope?

Indeed I crack sarcasm and you would
say "crazy", brat or Mary moment.
Indeed what am I to reply but a
smile. Does it not matter insult is
placed?

Ah that would invoke emotion towards
me. Alas a pure jest upon my
mind for sure. Indeed I kid myself
because I think I am a friend but
more so I am not. Just that convenient
darkened midnight.

Of course my mind stirs plenty and
now you have included me as ticked
off or thinking overmuch.  Alas
sorry but I do that when I am alone.

Weights of my depth don't mean
anything to you. As I was told once,
you really don't listen to anything
I say.

Interesting you say your sob story
but assume I am just a reminder
of dysfunction.  Indeed, yes I am.
Yet I too need the ear.

Still so much of me is quiet. Tipping
off my emotions, my tears, my
weakness here in my words. Alas
you will not read them. I know this.

Thanks for letting me feel emotions.
Thanks for teaching me I am nothing,
dysfunctional and crazy.

Always straight to my heart you go..
                with a knife and laughter.

I appreciate your time and effort to
make sure I am aware I will never
be good enough but in midnight.

Truly makes love I have a whole new
level because I still hope I am wrong.
Perhaps.