Lighted hope
I was looking over some old photos of life from just last year. So much has changed. My life has flipped over, been tossed around and I have even found myself standing still in a null void moment.
Still there is so much of me that needs improving. I thought, at one point in time, that all I was made for was to be some sort of mat. Welcoming people in but not seen. Accepting only dirt and weathered by the depth of muck that overtook me.
In truth I have found myself. In faith I have drowned but reserved in strength, love and forgiveness. I cannot expect anyone else to grasp the levels of me. Sure, once, there was hope. Long time waiting, subletting my mind and soul to only those who were in for a good time. Me included.
But when you find yourself forgiving, letting go of the physical pain, the tears and the emotions and just soaking in the good you begin this process that helps you to grow. I just understand my progress. I am certainly not in this world to be too concerned about how I project my positive voice. I can only hope, somewhere, I was capable of helping.
And when I saw the photos of days gone I am capable of noticing the differences I am in now. I recognize I am not the same.
As of today I am a little chubbier than I'd like to be but I am not hating my body. I recognize the other changes. Stability. Mental health and physically responsive. For me the depth I experienced and am ongoing, I am ever grateful of one raindrop or a tiny ant rushing off down the heated sidewalk.
As I gradually note my changes I make the marks on the lists. Making new goals to attain.
See I have come a long way. Made the less travelled road my companion. With faith I have been renewed and made stronger. In time I will find wisdom. One step at a time. Then a slow start to open the next chapter in my book.
And even though today scared me a bit, I am okay with the results because I lived and maintained my indifference. That was remarkable. Indeed a ray of lighted hope.
Still there is so much of me that needs improving. I thought, at one point in time, that all I was made for was to be some sort of mat. Welcoming people in but not seen. Accepting only dirt and weathered by the depth of muck that overtook me.
In truth I have found myself. In faith I have drowned but reserved in strength, love and forgiveness. I cannot expect anyone else to grasp the levels of me. Sure, once, there was hope. Long time waiting, subletting my mind and soul to only those who were in for a good time. Me included.
But when you find yourself forgiving, letting go of the physical pain, the tears and the emotions and just soaking in the good you begin this process that helps you to grow. I just understand my progress. I am certainly not in this world to be too concerned about how I project my positive voice. I can only hope, somewhere, I was capable of helping.
And when I saw the photos of days gone I am capable of noticing the differences I am in now. I recognize I am not the same.
As of today I am a little chubbier than I'd like to be but I am not hating my body. I recognize the other changes. Stability. Mental health and physically responsive. For me the depth I experienced and am ongoing, I am ever grateful of one raindrop or a tiny ant rushing off down the heated sidewalk.
As I gradually note my changes I make the marks on the lists. Making new goals to attain.
See I have come a long way. Made the less travelled road my companion. With faith I have been renewed and made stronger. In time I will find wisdom. One step at a time. Then a slow start to open the next chapter in my book.
And even though today scared me a bit, I am okay with the results because I lived and maintained my indifference. That was remarkable. Indeed a ray of lighted hope.
Comments
Post a Comment