How to clear the heart

Slowly I educate my heart of things it must

do to repair. Listing all the loud volumes that

create the lowest of silence.

The colors of images designed to splash

against my memory. So untidy within my 

mind. I just continue to strive for all the 

pressure to cease. Yet parts of me desires

to linger. 

Just a little. To feel something.

Yet all I do is hear the echoing heartache

and emotions. Drowning my thoughts in

this overwhelming sensation. 

Making me realize just how human I am.

Imperfection to the severity.

Clearly, yet senseless I move forward

in the training of myself. I dance so closely

to the memories I have. Not clinging to those

heated moments for if I do I get a taste

of disaster.

I want to linger, clutching the sweetness

of a long bitter tonic that swims deep within

me.  Just for a moment longer.

This is how the trained mind must discipline

the cupid heart. A strict regime to correct

loving the wrong for too long and too much.

My small but expanding price to pay.  The tender

I wagered. Now in lonely tangents, 

I make my deposits.