Mistaken title of understanding what involves friendships

                If disease, death and despair was the
top rulings these days I think that laughter encased in
sarcasm would soon follow. To be seen fully as the
lunatic of yesterday. Indeed the momentary comments
that remark loudly but yet only budge an inch. So sad
that a mind can play such damaging affects after just
one smashing hello.

                So clear is the rake that falls in the midst
of snow. The echoes of splintered plastice fade into
cackling as the soul just vibrates the remaining emotions.
So farfetched are the quakes but still they are a part
of the raging mindset. Indeed you find moments to
walk, run away.

               Still I question the motive of all. You ask why?
Well the responses given only prove to me that the
underlying is really slick and such trickery is found
as whispering dimensions. Funny how the steps are
taken yet it seems as though to run away but only
gaining grounds closer. WHY BOTHER?

               Yes the seriousness of errors found in icicles.
So many form around and I find myself wanting to
break pieces apart. Gathering the numbness into my
spirit. Alas I still must feel, still must be controlled in
a manner of loving tenderness. Where, though, is
the remaining parts of that from you? Oh bother me
for even caring, for even loving. Matters not. The
find a home inside a hole.

              Yes I did state a negative form but I tire
so much of the hellos then the grand distances that
burst at the seams. If there is something wrong just
don't approach, nor look at me. Mixed signals report.
I dislike a cruel game of love and hope.

            Send me away. Hold me at bay. Still though does
it even help? Why am I asking? I know my place.
Just outside the window but never seeing anything
because you have formed a barrier. So why do you care
so much about what I am viewing? Ah but I must
be a thought or maybe I am less, an intruder.

             Yes the backing up, the speechless days and
the broken gasps of air just don't do it for me. You
are either a part of me or no. Yes sometimes the
choice has to be upon your shoulders because it isn't always
about me needing nor what is necessity. Sometimes
you have to hope, to hold yourself just to be a part of
where I am, what I hope and dream. For once the
need of that goes, the bond falters.

          Alas I hope that isn't what you desire, nor hope,
dream for. I hope that isn't what is needed. Yet how
do I know, when you say absolutely nothing for days.
Ah whatever is what screams inside a silent voice.
Yes I back off. Yes I steer clear, not even looking in
any way but I do hope. Just one hope that I am still
a thought in your mind. Too much to ask? Perhaps.
Yet with all that is laid at your feet I may just be the
last thing you think of as your eyes close, and the first
faltering breath you inhale.

        Though I am confused. I thought friends were
friends. Closer than any fine silk. Also as I recall
they talk about anything, everything without the
concern of judgement. Perhaps I am mistaken with
the strength of our friendship.

        Though a mistake can be heard, for last I
remembered I am human. So much more may matters
increasingly agitated by the standards I am the
typical bratty redhead with the long strands of emotions
to back me up. So please dare me to shush, dare
me to look, peek once more but I need to hear that it
is okay. Otherwise I refrain.