Thoughts of a goal
Here I lay upon my bed wide awake with thoughts of how I could shout across the humid wind, my frustration. Yet in just that thought I break down the reality of just achieving a dry throat.
Best thing to do is to address the issue. Make whatever is the problem a mercy cry to Jehovah. In these moments as I unwind myself I so feel the need to relate to the brothers of my situation. Yet how would I even go about that. I am a disfellowshipped person and not even sure how to address the issue to them.
I sat, earlier, at my computer wanting to express the difficulty in my home life but because of who I am I felt that the blank page was best left blank.
Still I am unsure how to make the brothers aware of just how much I am trying to watch or be attentive to the meetings. I also wanted to relate to them the opposition I am facing. And still I say, if I was part of congregation, it would be important.
So my best goal right now is to continue to maintain an area where I can get to sit, completely, in the meetings without interference. Alas all I am doing currently is praying for strength and applying the wisdom to whichever avenue is best.
Sure my actions seem light and I understand that I must do more. However right now, everyday, is a constant battle of hatred towards whatever I do towards my growth with Jehovah. So sure, the applications may appear to be insignificant to one person but Mount Everest to another.
In this response I just shake my head. Sigh. Then unlatch another prayer before Jesus and Jehovah. In doing so I have a calm and am prepared to maintain peace where a fire battle rages.
If there is a way to approach or appeal to the brothers I hope I can find a way. Otherwise my reminder of remaining loving, kind, joyful and grateful is up on the greatest level in which I must stay focused.
Seems overwhelming but I have faith, trust and love in what Jehovah can do. So this continues to be my path for now until something opens and a release is found. Until then I am steadfast in my beliefs that nothing is impossible with Jehovah.
And I hold onto the hope that one day, all will be proven a good witness.
Best thing to do is to address the issue. Make whatever is the problem a mercy cry to Jehovah. In these moments as I unwind myself I so feel the need to relate to the brothers of my situation. Yet how would I even go about that. I am a disfellowshipped person and not even sure how to address the issue to them.
I sat, earlier, at my computer wanting to express the difficulty in my home life but because of who I am I felt that the blank page was best left blank.
Still I am unsure how to make the brothers aware of just how much I am trying to watch or be attentive to the meetings. I also wanted to relate to them the opposition I am facing. And still I say, if I was part of congregation, it would be important.
So my best goal right now is to continue to maintain an area where I can get to sit, completely, in the meetings without interference. Alas all I am doing currently is praying for strength and applying the wisdom to whichever avenue is best.
Sure my actions seem light and I understand that I must do more. However right now, everyday, is a constant battle of hatred towards whatever I do towards my growth with Jehovah. So sure, the applications may appear to be insignificant to one person but Mount Everest to another.
In this response I just shake my head. Sigh. Then unlatch another prayer before Jesus and Jehovah. In doing so I have a calm and am prepared to maintain peace where a fire battle rages.
If there is a way to approach or appeal to the brothers I hope I can find a way. Otherwise my reminder of remaining loving, kind, joyful and grateful is up on the greatest level in which I must stay focused.
Seems overwhelming but I have faith, trust and love in what Jehovah can do. So this continues to be my path for now until something opens and a release is found. Until then I am steadfast in my beliefs that nothing is impossible with Jehovah.
And I hold onto the hope that one day, all will be proven a good witness.
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