hoping for a barrier
I have not figured out how to, completely, get in more time for my meetings when said family disconnects things. Unhinged are the rantings that follow when I speak of my meetings, conventions and just being able to watch a video on jw.org. I never thought I would be experiencing this severity of opposition of my choice of religion.
And all I can do is pray and continue to love said family. It is the best offering I can give her. I sigh in the aspect of all the negativity that surrounds and yet I was super giddy when I was able to watch some videos yesterday evening while she was preoccupied. Oh such wonders.
I feel as though I am sneaking around to uplifting and enhance my spirit. This seems wrong. Yet I wonder if it really is right. Prayers I say in my mind to Jehovah and even as tears flow this moment, I am grateful to this experience because it will help me in the future. This is a part of the preparation for what is to come later.
This makes me look towards Job's situation and glean from what can help me maintain my spiritual growth. In these difficult times I look for minutes to read my bible and find an uplifting song to carry me. Then here and there find a video that can last longer than fifteen minutes to do deeper research on.
All I can do is lean into Jehovah in these moments. Continue to show love, humility and kindness. Also give way to patience and strength to press me down an understanding and wise path. See I am looking for all avenues to watch my meetings in peace. For now I have viewed just how much hatred being, studying, trying to get back to Jehovah is. I didn't think that being even a disfellowshipped witness would upset said family so much to do so much nastiness.
Yet, proven before me is the results. And still I find myself wanting to explain who Jehovah's Witnesses are to family. Ah at these times I am grateful my mother stands by my side. Defends me and my beliefs. Plus she shields what she knows is true. That says a lot to me.
I hope tomorrow I will be able to watch more videos and maybe get to do my meeting on Sunday. I keep hoping, praying.
And all I can do is pray and continue to love said family. It is the best offering I can give her. I sigh in the aspect of all the negativity that surrounds and yet I was super giddy when I was able to watch some videos yesterday evening while she was preoccupied. Oh such wonders.
I feel as though I am sneaking around to uplifting and enhance my spirit. This seems wrong. Yet I wonder if it really is right. Prayers I say in my mind to Jehovah and even as tears flow this moment, I am grateful to this experience because it will help me in the future. This is a part of the preparation for what is to come later.
This makes me look towards Job's situation and glean from what can help me maintain my spiritual growth. In these difficult times I look for minutes to read my bible and find an uplifting song to carry me. Then here and there find a video that can last longer than fifteen minutes to do deeper research on.
All I can do is lean into Jehovah in these moments. Continue to show love, humility and kindness. Also give way to patience and strength to press me down an understanding and wise path. See I am looking for all avenues to watch my meetings in peace. For now I have viewed just how much hatred being, studying, trying to get back to Jehovah is. I didn't think that being even a disfellowshipped witness would upset said family so much to do so much nastiness.
Yet, proven before me is the results. And still I find myself wanting to explain who Jehovah's Witnesses are to family. Ah at these times I am grateful my mother stands by my side. Defends me and my beliefs. Plus she shields what she knows is true. That says a lot to me.
I hope tomorrow I will be able to watch more videos and maybe get to do my meeting on Sunday. I keep hoping, praying.
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