Cross roads
Possibly one of the best events ever took place just a few days ago. Even more so is the loss of people thinking they knew me. What a tragedy. Sorry but not sorry. I don't let people into my life because I need them. I let them in because I have a deeper connection to them.
Strangely I could be called a life sucking friend. To that person, I know I fit that title well. I don't back down upon it. Yet here my life is just fine. It hurt just about 3 days this time and I was back to understanding that no words will ever be necessary. However I am unhappy that the dropping off the face of the earth was part of the plan. Still so much joy is inside just knowing at one point in my life a presence such as thee was needed, wanted, demanded.
Grateful that I don't have that emotion anymore. Right now all I do is look forward to the time when goals are achieved and time is etched in the sky. Perhaps that is all that is needed to find the roles of new people to place into our lives.
See I thought I needed those who were a part of me in the past, to help join the new pieces of my puzzle. Yet when I realized that it only took me 3 days to recover I found that life, love and peace found me a whole new palace.
And here I saw that goals, dreams and hopes were voiced. I am grateful to hear or read them. For all those who once a part of who I was the last 8 years, thank you. Grateful for the distances given. Even the separation and severing of ties.
And as I do finally let other people in, I will be even more happy to know I did show my true self. See one person in the past saw all my character. It is sort of sad that partings happen but the feed was not good. The war was build and the battles were fought.
In the end, we sucked away each other. Left this oddness within and always felt wanting of something that could not be. You know that is the part that made me hide more. Closing up parts of myself just so I did get scared of the being vunerable.
And as I watched the river within turn from bright blue to muddy slush I realized just how much I really did know. A friend can only be a friend if both are free to be real. So I walked away.
Best and worst days of my life but that had to happen to finally realize a breeze inside my spirit. So as I see the changes in life, I pray and hope that all is attainable when you trust yourself and finally feel real.
Who knows, maybe it wasn't our chore to suck life out but to push it back in. Maybe bumpings will occur. Yet one never knows what happens down the road.
Cross roads are there for a reason.
Strangely I could be called a life sucking friend. To that person, I know I fit that title well. I don't back down upon it. Yet here my life is just fine. It hurt just about 3 days this time and I was back to understanding that no words will ever be necessary. However I am unhappy that the dropping off the face of the earth was part of the plan. Still so much joy is inside just knowing at one point in my life a presence such as thee was needed, wanted, demanded.
Grateful that I don't have that emotion anymore. Right now all I do is look forward to the time when goals are achieved and time is etched in the sky. Perhaps that is all that is needed to find the roles of new people to place into our lives.
See I thought I needed those who were a part of me in the past, to help join the new pieces of my puzzle. Yet when I realized that it only took me 3 days to recover I found that life, love and peace found me a whole new palace.
And here I saw that goals, dreams and hopes were voiced. I am grateful to hear or read them. For all those who once a part of who I was the last 8 years, thank you. Grateful for the distances given. Even the separation and severing of ties.
And as I do finally let other people in, I will be even more happy to know I did show my true self. See one person in the past saw all my character. It is sort of sad that partings happen but the feed was not good. The war was build and the battles were fought.
In the end, we sucked away each other. Left this oddness within and always felt wanting of something that could not be. You know that is the part that made me hide more. Closing up parts of myself just so I did get scared of the being vunerable.
And as I watched the river within turn from bright blue to muddy slush I realized just how much I really did know. A friend can only be a friend if both are free to be real. So I walked away.
Best and worst days of my life but that had to happen to finally realize a breeze inside my spirit. So as I see the changes in life, I pray and hope that all is attainable when you trust yourself and finally feel real.
Who knows, maybe it wasn't our chore to suck life out but to push it back in. Maybe bumpings will occur. Yet one never knows what happens down the road.
Cross roads are there for a reason.
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