The muse
I blot a lot of my mind away from people. I even strive to keep the private parts of me silent so when people do learn about me, there is still something about me they don't know. And as I follow the hopes that entertain the dreams, the goals of my life I lean into opening another layer for those who want to know of me.
Even in my glimmering shine I am still solitary. Not alone nor lonely. Just standing in this calm contentment that so few ever get to experience. And if you did, you would understand why being as I am, staid.
And when people ask me how am I doing or if I am okay I just answer "fine". To explain the depth of my quiet is something exquisite and delightful. Something only a few know and have felt. To which when only I respond "fine" many get concerned. I just smirk and move onto them. It is so much easier than to expand on the way I am being.
The extent of my mind is complex and sometimes quite a paradox. It is just easier to propose that I am a mystery to many. An intrigue that some are fearful of or others who hope to exploit. Either way I am an open book. Still some of the chapters or questions people as are too general, wide in their meaning. So to understand or look below my surface, I daresay, one must ask a detailed question or investigate with intensity.
Otherwise I deem the conversations null and mundane. So if I walk away or turn you off it is by far not your fault. Just the depth isn't there. And I, by no means, intend to insult you. I just tend to drift back to my own thoughts and observations of people.
I try my hardest to be cordial to the small talkers but I do so love when people interact with deep, thought provoking, heart quenching questions. Especially when they may have an idea of things I am very passionate about.
Truly my biggest qualm is to have someone, who doesn't really know me, think I am shy. By far from that. I am not shy. I am just quiet, reserved and always thinking. Yet when I am with people who truly know me, they hear the laughter, the vibrant smiles and they experience a totally different person.
And do I dare push people? No. I let them come at me with all kinds of questions and issues. I am always striving to help or give the right scripture, article or compliment that can encourage. Although there are times where I cannot help. That is when I step back inside myself. Become the recluse and enjoy my silence.
Its not a sadness. It is a peace. A contentment of who I am. I change but I always have this contentment. It is hope. It is faith.
I don't expect everyone to understand me. I know that I can be quite difficult to comprehend. Yet all I ask is of love and patience. As I strive to give the same to others. Have joy, contentment and calm. That will help you find the patience and love. Making them so very strong.
So what am I to others? I don't know. But for me, I am a muse for my growth.
Even in my glimmering shine I am still solitary. Not alone nor lonely. Just standing in this calm contentment that so few ever get to experience. And if you did, you would understand why being as I am, staid.
And when people ask me how am I doing or if I am okay I just answer "fine". To explain the depth of my quiet is something exquisite and delightful. Something only a few know and have felt. To which when only I respond "fine" many get concerned. I just smirk and move onto them. It is so much easier than to expand on the way I am being.
The extent of my mind is complex and sometimes quite a paradox. It is just easier to propose that I am a mystery to many. An intrigue that some are fearful of or others who hope to exploit. Either way I am an open book. Still some of the chapters or questions people as are too general, wide in their meaning. So to understand or look below my surface, I daresay, one must ask a detailed question or investigate with intensity.
Otherwise I deem the conversations null and mundane. So if I walk away or turn you off it is by far not your fault. Just the depth isn't there. And I, by no means, intend to insult you. I just tend to drift back to my own thoughts and observations of people.
I try my hardest to be cordial to the small talkers but I do so love when people interact with deep, thought provoking, heart quenching questions. Especially when they may have an idea of things I am very passionate about.
Truly my biggest qualm is to have someone, who doesn't really know me, think I am shy. By far from that. I am not shy. I am just quiet, reserved and always thinking. Yet when I am with people who truly know me, they hear the laughter, the vibrant smiles and they experience a totally different person.
And do I dare push people? No. I let them come at me with all kinds of questions and issues. I am always striving to help or give the right scripture, article or compliment that can encourage. Although there are times where I cannot help. That is when I step back inside myself. Become the recluse and enjoy my silence.
Its not a sadness. It is a peace. A contentment of who I am. I change but I always have this contentment. It is hope. It is faith.
I don't expect everyone to understand me. I know that I can be quite difficult to comprehend. Yet all I ask is of love and patience. As I strive to give the same to others. Have joy, contentment and calm. That will help you find the patience and love. Making them so very strong.
So what am I to others? I don't know. But for me, I am a muse for my growth.
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