I am good
Could you have ever worded yourself just so gently to appease someone? Could the idea of soothsaying the vocals to someone to lighten the load of their day? Could you have ever gone to that extent and been genuine?
I stood for many weeks wondering if that was ever possible and then I had to shake myself free of the hope that truth can't reign inside of you. That the idea of being a real person was too far from the beaten path that looking for the worn road was not even capable of being seen in a pair of binoculars.
Then I really felt that the idea of being my friend was to just help you get over your humps in the road. The bumps that were suffocated enough but not quite smooth. Then I had to step back and realize that I had been an option all along.
Which in turn made me grateful that life, God pulled me the way it, he did. Otherwise how else would have seen the differences in the lightest grays and the darkest charcoals. I hurt for a very long time and decided if, IF, I let you back into my life nothing was going to sway me to feel anything. I would just be ever so casual. Forgo any thoughts of the many "friends" you had.
I even walked away several times at opportunities to express the very core of my anger. In truth it served no means. It would have been me talking to a brick wall with melting mortar. Nothing stuck in the mind as anything but necessary labels.
I think I rather like not needing to say a darn word to anyone. I rather like the idea that I am just fine without needing to talk to any one person in particular. Although I have learned the need of constantly being able to get outside. That is my need.
All else that comes about is a form of a bonus. And truth in it all as much as the parts of me still want to say no to anything given back or allowed, I just let it flow. For if something pisses me off about something that is done or said I keep moving because its the reaction you want to see. I get that now.
Sadly I don't need to talk to you or anyone everyday. I can be just content with myself as long as I have nature. As for any friendship you have stepped bounds for some reason. Jumped high, far for some reason.
As though my friendship with you means something. To my knowledge I can't quite wrap that in my head, but I just let it be. So talk away. Don't worry about me because I could care less about is really said. As you say it is likewise.
So I practice vague answers. If you wanted more you would dig. Some days yes you do, others you just leave off. I am good with that. I need nothing from you.
I am okay with that.
Don't think for one minute I would crash if you wanted to walk away. I am good. I can hold myself up. If you haven't noticed that by now then don't start.
I stood for many weeks wondering if that was ever possible and then I had to shake myself free of the hope that truth can't reign inside of you. That the idea of being a real person was too far from the beaten path that looking for the worn road was not even capable of being seen in a pair of binoculars.
Then I really felt that the idea of being my friend was to just help you get over your humps in the road. The bumps that were suffocated enough but not quite smooth. Then I had to step back and realize that I had been an option all along.
Which in turn made me grateful that life, God pulled me the way it, he did. Otherwise how else would have seen the differences in the lightest grays and the darkest charcoals. I hurt for a very long time and decided if, IF, I let you back into my life nothing was going to sway me to feel anything. I would just be ever so casual. Forgo any thoughts of the many "friends" you had.
I even walked away several times at opportunities to express the very core of my anger. In truth it served no means. It would have been me talking to a brick wall with melting mortar. Nothing stuck in the mind as anything but necessary labels.
I think I rather like not needing to say a darn word to anyone. I rather like the idea that I am just fine without needing to talk to any one person in particular. Although I have learned the need of constantly being able to get outside. That is my need.
All else that comes about is a form of a bonus. And truth in it all as much as the parts of me still want to say no to anything given back or allowed, I just let it flow. For if something pisses me off about something that is done or said I keep moving because its the reaction you want to see. I get that now.
Sadly I don't need to talk to you or anyone everyday. I can be just content with myself as long as I have nature. As for any friendship you have stepped bounds for some reason. Jumped high, far for some reason.
As though my friendship with you means something. To my knowledge I can't quite wrap that in my head, but I just let it be. So talk away. Don't worry about me because I could care less about is really said. As you say it is likewise.
So I practice vague answers. If you wanted more you would dig. Some days yes you do, others you just leave off. I am good with that. I need nothing from you.
I am okay with that.
Don't think for one minute I would crash if you wanted to walk away. I am good. I can hold myself up. If you haven't noticed that by now then don't start.
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