Lost robot

You know when you wake up in cold sweats from what is considered a nightmare to you how does the mind shut down again afterwards?

Especially when it is always gonna be the ultimatum that makes you wonder about. Would the listeners really have heard what you have been saying or just believe in the latter, laughing or being angry with you in an eternity?

It does cause tears to well up in the eyes. Makes the soul struggle and the spirit seem too low.

And still tomorrow morning the restlessness will still be there but the burning question of why?

Not as though it matters just the feeling of emptiness and chastising self rings in hard.

Realizing whatever affects sleep difficulties were memories that were important and still weaken the heart in areas.

I like being the aloof person. I can stand alone, not really need anything until a flashback hits.

Really, a sad state. Yet it cannot bother me. I cannot let it because then I would lose everything I work hard to have again. And still not really have. Startling in way that the mind loses some time.

I guess it's a grand thing for some but I want to remember. I want to hold onto memories. Yet here I am blank again. Just with tears falling down my face.

Lost.

Doesn't mean much to people.

Sadly to recall all the pain and why the nightmare. I just have to walk away because no one listened then and still wont. So why does it still pause to remind me I lost?

Ah because it's the truth.

I lost. Can't help those who didn't hear me.

I lost and now I don't remember how, nor why. All I can do is go forward.

In hopes a memory will finally brush past me in a shock of tumbling boxes.

To remember that I am real, not just a lost robot.