Mirage of love

       Funny how you think you find the love of
your life only to see the mirage fade into the
burning sun.

       Sadness can bring such depression and yet
I don't feel sad. Ah just once again disappointed
by the levels I took.

        Seriously how much I strived to keep all going
strong. Such the facade so many did not know I kept
hidden so well. Indeed a solitary life.

       So tired of giving and giving but no respect in
return. Not once have my children asked about why.
Not once did they even wonder if the lives they lived
were important to me. Only assumed that I left
for a bit of casual freedom.

     No my soul was weary. Dying in fact. The last time
I placed me last I ended deadly in the hospital.  Yet
dare they inquire. Just listening assuming the lies
told, spread about me.

      Indeed I loved hard. I love for eternity. Does that
mean anything? Ah I cannot ask them. My children
find me repulsive. I find that ironic actually because the
image was repeatedly told to me year after year on my
anniversary.

      Still pity and hardship I didn't want others to grasp.
Children of mine, you may find me lacking in many areas
but don't you dare think, assume my leaving was self
gratifying. No. I left because my life was in danger.

    Nevertheless neither of you will ever hear my words,
much less understand or comprehend if truth of
circumstances ring righteous. I cannot expect that
anything I ever say or write will grace your line
of eyesight.

    To that I am sorry you won't ever understand the sacrifices
I made for you. Nevertheless I am still loving you. I love hard.
I love for all eternity.  Not once does life survive without hope
that one day you will ask.

     Funny how love is. Leaping bounds, unyielding in its
steps. Still my tears fall every night from knowing
the truth of me, of my steps say nothing to you.

      Indeed disappointment in believing human love
can be everlasting. That you can marry one person
forever.  Loving unconditionally. Indeed I laugh at the
irony.

     A bit of sadness finds a root in me. Though I am
low I know truth rings loud and clear. I know the imagery
doesn't hold for long. Soon those looking in see the real
picture.

      Watch out. Look forward. Hope big. Love, yes, love
everlasting.  For I am too.