Just one word of care

      Ever felt those moments when it is
necessity  to have someone just
approach you and give good news to you?

      Today is that day for me. I needed
a real hug but I just ended up being
supportive for others. Sometimes,
usually that  helps me but not today.
I did need more of the pushes of
real arms and a real, genuine
response towards me.

      And yet I just pressed on through.
Not really speaking to anyone about
what is pressuring me. As though
no one really noticed any changes in
my mannerisms.

      How? Why people claim to know
me but just really are oblivious.
Silence ISN'T always a good thing for
me. Most often times not speaking to
anyone but Co workers tend to have
me draw deeper and deeper into a
hole.

     Yet I don't dare beg any one person
to grasp my attention. I just wanted
someone to listen to my concerns
but draining  into my mind it will
have to remain.

     So pardon the silent treatment  I give
because  I too am human and cannot
read others  either. So to dare any one
person to rummage through their
baggage to listen to me  would be
odd.

     A hope that  when I am uplifting you
that maybe, just maybe, you would
inquire "genuinely" about me. Never
trained, coerced nor planned. Just
a simple ear.

    So that when I listen intently
upon, into your troubles  that the
respect is there of mine.

     Sadly I extend myself and don't
call out negatively to those who are
cold. I understand  I am never going
to fit. I am okay with that but coldness
only can be warmed seven times after
that you are on your own.

    Stubborn you may say I am but
discarded like rubbish upon your shoe
can only be endured enough. Enough
to train myself in respecting the
desired wants of your ignorance.

   Believe me  I can ignore in the most
loving way. The genuine concern, the
caring handshake  or the kind hug
and smile. Yes I was respectful  of
my upbringing.

    Pardon my imperfection in
misunderstanding but sometimes
I NEED LOVE TOO.