Roads demand a prayer of hope

Roads curve this way and that. Memory crawls back
and creates havoc where none is needs to be. Big
sighs crease my brow. Pain enters the temples and
seeps down into the ears.

How does the night end? Slowly, peacefully I drift
to sleep. Forgetting and easing into a soft
whimpering slumber. My eyes clear of the tension that is tightening around me, inside of me. Reminding myself no anxiety I should feel because I have taken
all stresses and worries to my father, Jehovah.

Tonight I sit here hoping for calmness in the wake
of uproar. The images that play over and over in
my head, to surrender to a blank sheet, to finally
feel complete once again. Happiness to radiate from
me once more.

A head full of demands, commands yet shake off the
bad and enter the truth, enter the correct responses.
My mind runs, ransacks the heart with constant shouts,
constant reminders that the mind is right, not the
heart. Peace, calm in the battle that wages inside
me, all of us.

Night after night I cringe remembering that I was part
of the world, cruel and unfeeling. Lost and proud. I
am still proud only in fact that I now understand,
with Jehovah's help, that I will, may stumble, cry.
Jehovah will help me with my trials, for he knows
all that I can endure. 1 Corinthians 10:13 (NWT)

I look forward to all that is to come to me in the
years to come. I pray for confidence in being able
to do his will, with Jehovah's holy spirit much can
be done. How else would I be able to know exactly
which Scripture to refer to for answers. Only that of
Jehovah's holy spirit can show me the right path, my
conscience should help to "choose" correctly.
I do so love how Jehovah helps. Psalm 16:13 (NWT)

No wonder that I feel uplifted, awakened after a
prayer, meeting, reading Scriptures, association.
Jehovah hears me. Psalm 3:1-8; 65:2 (NWT)

Ah reassured that I can be helped from many
a new family, association who will teach through
Scriptures, ministry and guidance. Many a times
I was sure I was alone in my journey but I realize
now that Jehovah has always been there, placing
people with the right Scriptures, guidance, counsel
to help me. First and foremost Jehovah is the one
I turn to. Matthew 22:37 (NWT)

So as my journey through stressful trials I know
that with all the tension and persecution I will be
faced with Jehovah will be with me. 1 Peter 5:7,8 (NWT)

I do so look forward to the tension to ease, the
worries to take a stand in a fading past. A night
of cool, soothing words, thoughts that crash on an
ever churning tide. Ah how much the mind is at a
moment of warmth. A moment of happiness.

My eyes finally drift back to sleep. I feel a curve
spreading over my face, a smile as I lay my head
to fall asleep.

Awaken to a ray of silvery sun and dew pressed against
my window screen. A shadowbox upon my
Wedgwood walls. Yes I am grateful once more to
breathe in a hope, a sense of comfort knowing
Jehovah hears my prayers, my thoughts and is
always reading my heart. Giving my heart the
chances it needed to change, to hear.

Thank you Jehovah for releasing me of a heart of
tragedy. Teaching me of forgiveness from you and
several others. Giving me hope where I thought I
did not deserve it. Making sure I never felt alone,
even in my solitude of water buckets. I am thankful
for knowing I still have much to learn, to breathe and
love.