Fully aware of road back

    A long road ahead of me. Trying not
to ruin it by looking back. Keep moving forward
even if it feels as though I am surrounded by
empty air.

   Moments to cry but suck it up so that my eyes
have cold stone gray. Not sure how to accomplish
But know Jehovah will help when it is necessary.

   At this very moment I seem so lost. Perhaps
just need to get away for a few yet still my mind
wants to scream.

   Oh how can I say anything to anyone? Just cast
down my eyes. I cry single dry tears and wait for
a rainfall but still nothing exits my soul.

   Want to ask but only one I can, Jehovah. Hearer
of my thoughts, my prayers.

   Oh how else can my worries escape my soul?

   Still I wonder but know the reason why I stated
yes to any answer, why I was empty, lost.

   Wanted to see. Still I had hoped. Not taking
cues on lies, on anything. My mind crawled back
to the day that disappeared.

   Grateful now to the solid flow of rain, torrent
rain. Ah how the sound cleanses my core. My lids
close down and the storms cease. Ah how
the shivering begins but I stand motionless.

   Do you see? Can you feel? The nerves rattled
and still silences says a loud hello. Hear the whimpers
as I wait.

   I know the heart is wrong. Relying only on
Jehovah for the answers. I pray and hope in the end
life and choices prove to be fruitful because
right now my mind is locked and my eyes are
cold and fully aware.