You say I over think

My mind over thinks all the time and I strive my best to see the best in everyone but some people I just can't.  Not after I have seen so much.

What hurts the most is what I saw. Only hurts worse is the lies I received. I don't even know how to go forward after that moment.

Just laugh it off and apologize for viewing things. But oh how I saw the same reactions, the same responses. People made me seem like I was the crazy one.

You know it digs deeper,when you love. Why do I bother? Why do I care? It doesn't matter if I am hurt right?  I just an odd, crazy woman who is heartless, cold and non compassionate. Stated by those who I love the most.

You know what showed me the real picture is when the defense for the other person came from a person who had been my cheerleader. Ah but I cannot let the knots in my throat stumble me.

Even though clear as day I know what I saw. Even spoke up and I was chastised for seeing the images. I am wrong. I know the symbols.

Yet what does it matter. I am just a friend. A distant cousin of sorts. Who cares what I saw.

Oh how it hurts. One more day to cry and to absorb the information so my mind can be calm when I see these people again. It saddens me greatly how much I have not look at them.

I must be quiet in my pain. So much kills me right now. People think I am blind or dumb because I am quiet. I am tired of the statements of me being the "off" one.

No. Stop. I love hard and deep. When people betray or hurt me it HURTS. IT DIGS.

Stop playing. Stop hitting.

Today just another day where friends are friends.