Instruments

      Breathlessness that pulls sweet tightness against warm
screams. Oh hold tight before the downfall of clutches. Tiny
pieces of sarcasm echo against the grinding of words.

      Chills and heat clash inside your soul. Ah still the pain
quakes and rips. Oh how to just breathe seems to be the
hardest parts.

       One by one the eyes close to countdown and fractions
of seconds seem as though an eternity. The twisting, the
turning just to have some comfort in a blinding whirlwind
of deafening white sparks.

       Here the whispers, the memories breathe inside the
mind, calming the stretching screams of knifepoint
knots inside organs.

         Shh a lullaby soothes me. Bringing the levels of
pain to a tolerance. The sparkling blues are hazy and
stained splotchy grays. Oh how the sighs are expressed
and gratitude is given to Jehovah in pulling me back.

         So exhausted from the fight that the muscles
expand and clench pressing stinging flicks against my
soft pale form.

        Funny how one can be pale and still draw another
level of sheer whiteness. Oh the breaths become even. The
ragged gasps smooth over warm air. My lungs ease into
a rhythm and a long exhale becomes a cleansing.

         Once more the gratitude is expressed to Jehovah for
giving me the strength to endure. Soon motion to raise
up becomes necessity and the mind begs for entertainment.

         My hands begin their journey across a new pattern
of rings. Smoothing over the stones of joy and happiness.
Ah a simple thanks to those who Jehovah gives to press my
eyes open once more.

         Bead upon bead. Ring overlapping ring. One by one
the creativity takes place where pain stood. Ah indeed all
will be well knowing Jehovah gives strength.

         So smile with me my dear friend as I press past this
anguish and breathe clearer. Open a few words inside a
conversation for I long to hear a few more encouraging
pressed scriptures to lean upon.

        One weak hug expressed in the biggest of steps. Yes
I am surviving just as Jehovah wanted me too. Thank you
for being an instrument of Jehovah.