A lighted start
There is a lot of light today. So much to be done and yet sluggish in the pursuits of getting started. Hiccups remind me that sugar is a necessity but where to find it. And as I begin to push forward into the cool sunny morning I understand why a slow start.
A need to start the day fresh. Interesting how that can be taken. Either of cleaning the soul or clarity within the mind. Yet for me it is neither. Fresh is how I step in today the day. Bringing a lighter step upon a pathway so worn down. Tread softly and be kind.
Perhaps the understanding of how my mind turns would give a hint of how I proceed into the day. At times I do not get my oddness but I do just follow along until depth is displayed in great quantities.
So mundane a day can be. Say for now, for example. Normally I would just roll back to sleep. Gain those extra particles of energy. Yet today I woke three hours early. For the excitement of goodness exits me. Such grand details for tomorrow but still this wavering dread of unknown. And even in that moment of darkness I see lights just behind the door.
So even with more days of surgery I am expected of myself, to be reminded of all that can be had in one second of joy. I have to stay steady for family. Preparing to be what is needed even in my weakest moments.
Yet as my calm overcomes me this morning, I still have a nine hour day of work before my day of surgery. No need to sit and dwell on pitying myself. There is no joy in that. I look to the goodness given and enjoy secular work as I must to hold some strained severed sanity to my mind.
So you see in all there could be, I am still learning there isn't any clear sanity to be had. Just that of a highly functioning anxious mind, broken in several places and welded with clean silver. Indeed we all break from this formed understanding of sane and insane. Yet how we utilize it is the key.
With all that rambles in my mind I grasp the necessities I must have to go about in "normal" society. Certainly I have grave memories that can hinder me but I use them to grow.
And I look into today, what is projected to be completed, well I hope of five or six on the list of fifteen gets finished. Exceeding these numbers will be greater joy. Yet I do not push.
Today is what I make of it. My choices and my pitfalls. That is the outcome. Whatever I do, I learn. For that is why Jehovah woke me today. One more lesson to be heard. One more love to appreciate. One more notice of life. Yes that is why each day is precious.
Yet I must say the day, the life is NOT "it is what it is" because I choose to be different.
So here I really refresh the mind with goodness. Holding down the prayer and goals for the day. Beginning with two feet upon the floor. As the day warms up.
So be positive. If at any point of the day you feel low, step away from what you are doing. Sit down, drink a coffee or tea. Or step outside to clear your head. These are the motivators for me. And never forget to be thankful of Jehovah or those who help you even in distances.
Take care of you and seek truth. That is how I go everyday. And I carry love, compassion and laughter with me. What about you, dear friend?
A need to start the day fresh. Interesting how that can be taken. Either of cleaning the soul or clarity within the mind. Yet for me it is neither. Fresh is how I step in today the day. Bringing a lighter step upon a pathway so worn down. Tread softly and be kind.
Perhaps the understanding of how my mind turns would give a hint of how I proceed into the day. At times I do not get my oddness but I do just follow along until depth is displayed in great quantities.
So mundane a day can be. Say for now, for example. Normally I would just roll back to sleep. Gain those extra particles of energy. Yet today I woke three hours early. For the excitement of goodness exits me. Such grand details for tomorrow but still this wavering dread of unknown. And even in that moment of darkness I see lights just behind the door.
So even with more days of surgery I am expected of myself, to be reminded of all that can be had in one second of joy. I have to stay steady for family. Preparing to be what is needed even in my weakest moments.
Yet as my calm overcomes me this morning, I still have a nine hour day of work before my day of surgery. No need to sit and dwell on pitying myself. There is no joy in that. I look to the goodness given and enjoy secular work as I must to hold some strained severed sanity to my mind.
So you see in all there could be, I am still learning there isn't any clear sanity to be had. Just that of a highly functioning anxious mind, broken in several places and welded with clean silver. Indeed we all break from this formed understanding of sane and insane. Yet how we utilize it is the key.
With all that rambles in my mind I grasp the necessities I must have to go about in "normal" society. Certainly I have grave memories that can hinder me but I use them to grow.
And I look into today, what is projected to be completed, well I hope of five or six on the list of fifteen gets finished. Exceeding these numbers will be greater joy. Yet I do not push.
Today is what I make of it. My choices and my pitfalls. That is the outcome. Whatever I do, I learn. For that is why Jehovah woke me today. One more lesson to be heard. One more love to appreciate. One more notice of life. Yes that is why each day is precious.
Yet I must say the day, the life is NOT "it is what it is" because I choose to be different.
So here I really refresh the mind with goodness. Holding down the prayer and goals for the day. Beginning with two feet upon the floor. As the day warms up.
So be positive. If at any point of the day you feel low, step away from what you are doing. Sit down, drink a coffee or tea. Or step outside to clear your head. These are the motivators for me. And never forget to be thankful of Jehovah or those who help you even in distances.
Take care of you and seek truth. That is how I go everyday. And I carry love, compassion and laughter with me. What about you, dear friend?
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