Exposed

   There are days when my head
screams and no release explodes until
too late. The mind so cautious of the
emotions that come raving afterwards.
Still it matters not what is there because
sorrow isn't wiped clean. It is just
put away for a short time.

   Indeed I keep going. I keep holding
my head up because that is expected of
me. No shield to block the emotions but
no wall to hide them either. Alas I can
thank a few but to name name is
quite idiotic.

   So in my silence I keep going up. I
keep searching. It is all I know. Indeed
pardon the redness, the tears because
I am capable of not bending in the wind.

  Yes perhaps you want to see me
wilt or even be desperate but have you
not learned anything?  I don't break
too often. I am not built that way.

  The strength is there, just as you knew.
Just as you expected I would keep
moving. Dare I fall and sleep. Oh dare
I.

   No I am not angry. Just so tired
of the expectations and declining of
atmosphere.  I cared. I cared too much.
So much of that harms. Alas I cry.
I sit and hope. I pray hard. And then
what??

        I just dream and hope. Alas not
to involve anyone but me in my thoughts.
Not to be diverse and still I am. I still
incorporate many into my life. I don't
dare isolate myself. I don't dare
drown myself when I know the hope
light sits so close to me.

    I get up. I dance even when I am
weary. Even when the bugs find a
meal within my blood. I still remind
myself life moves forward. I still live.

   Meaning I must keep seeking. I must
keep leaning into the Truth because it
is the only part of me I can trust. The
only thing I can semi understand.

   So yeah I am crying. Draining out more
emotion and possibly more migraines.
Alas when it is all gone - the sadness-
I will keep forward.

   A plea I crave before you. Only
because one thought can be opened.
A dare to breach but nay it cannot.

   One day my lips will embrace a
joyful smile. Until then I keep on
hoping.

   Dare me if you like. But don't
create a way to destroy me again. I
cannot allow you that anymore.

    So if a need strikes you with clarity
then avail away to the hugs I need,
the support I crave but don't find
ways to hold any reins over me. For
if loose ends are found don't judge me