A bit of sadness rolls over me

   The sadness that pulls from me
is so hard but the truth is found. So
clear to me I have given no
weights but left all to the wind.

   so calm I swallow my hurt and
keep moving forward. The desperate
pleas to ask why I wasn't worth
time sits there. Not really holding me,
nor barring me from the movement.
Still the ache of not understanding.

   When am I ever good enough? When
does the dry patch in my throat soothe
the emptiness?

   Alas that has nothing to do with the
pain. Still I keep holding my head up.
Seeing somewhere I am worthy of
a glance. Indeed a hope but oh how
I laugh it off.

  For certain I am of no meaning
to some but others do not know how to
extend to the bridge to learn.

  Daresay the bridge we had is in
need of repair. The wood is worn but
the grains, the structure is solid. So
many times the hurt, the pain
stabs but I still endure. I still move
for standing still is like sinking in
quicksand.

  Oh how I don't want to excite the
options that I am correct on the
observations but I see so many
repeats. So many steps over glossed.

   Still I am steadfast and I cling
to a hope. I cannot help but to cry.
For I am a woman with feelings. Not
wanting to place the drama inside
any one person's court. Yet to have
concern is delightful.

  Ah I cannot beg nor should I really
plea with what cannot be found nor
guaranteed by one. The cycle just hurts.

   The banter, the words, the actions
all find routes to dig deeper. Bleeding
me but I bite back. I fight. I weigh
what can be possible and persevere.

   That is all I can do. Pray. Hope.
Wait. Still I don't push anymore. I
can't let the reality of life control me.
Just the truth. That has to be all.

   So dare you find routes to get under
me, to unwind me to point of disposal.
Just remember I am stronger still. I
will bounce back faster.

   So hurt me if you must. Destroy the
bridge I'd it helps you but common
barriers will keep the feathers bound.
I will remain forever grateful for who
Jehovah gave to me.

   So blow away the best and fire up
the blaze but don't forget some things
cannot be severed.

   Indeed I hurt, now. Indeed I cry,
hard and feverishly. Indeed I want
to dislike, yet I don't forget my roots.

   The tender moments lay open
some times. The memories quake my
spirit but I recall who walked away.

   Indeed structurally sound but
waving in the wind. I allowed you too
much and gained little in return.
Now I must pick up again. No longer
remaining stationary for rocks to
pound me. Indeed what you needed
all along.

   Me to fade from view. In time yes.
I will no more be a thought, a concerns
nor the effort of support. For then I
will be a mere leaf in the howling
storm you didn't know I could survive.

   Surprised? No you never are. Emotions
don't exist within our bridge just
blank stares of old wood.

  I smile now. Drying up my tears
because I must be strong, enduring
other tests in life. A way I can go. Yes
thus right walk of life. A good day dear
one.

     Indeed?